Rejection is a soul-killer that naturally leads to depression, anxiety, self-doubt, isolation, and just plain wanting to give up and crawl in a hole.
You’ve heard the term, “Your own worst critic?” That’s me.
I brood and simmer and stew for a couple of days, but eventually I pick myself up and try again.
I have a motto that I often hide behind: Whether my work gets published or not, whether anyone likes it, I’m still going to write. It’s who I am.
How I Discovered What Rejection Really Is
How do I cope? I suppose I would call what I do a form of meditation.
I need alone time to get inside my head and separate my thoughts from the buzzing of all the characters who live there.
One thing my mother always said: “Never lie to yourself.”
That’s when I pull out all the hurt, pain, and rejection, and examine them for what they are—distractions.
After all the self-analysis, I realize I’m happiest when writing. Time ceases to exist when I’m in the zone. Worldly worries fall away.
One Solution for Writers with Reynaud’s Syndrome
When I get into the “zone,” I find myself sitting for hours at a time. This is problematic for my arthritis and MCTD, so I set reminders every hour to get up and stretch.
Unfortunately for me, I don’t always follow through, especially when I’m chasing a scene.
I did invest in a quality, ergonomically correct chair. I also keep a small space heater under my desk year-round since my feet and hands stay cold (Reynaud’s syndrome).
Have You Tried “Sleep Writing?”
The key to my creativity: I read. A lot.
I love finding a quirky turn of phrase or some original thinking. It’s stimulating and encourages me to think outside the box.
I also do what I call “sleep writing.” When I hit a stumbling block or can’t figure my way out of a box, I lie down on my bed, close my eyes, and shut the world around me out. Without visual or audial distractions, my brain relaxes and clarity returns.
My “nap” sometimes lasts five minutes, sometimes an hour, but it works every time.
True Writers Can’t Walk Away
My darkest moment came with my first rejection.
Everyone told me I would need a thick hide, but I had read all the teaching books, studied other authors’ techniques, attended conferences, took classes, and then edited and tweaked and polished until I was sure I had the next bestseller.
And then came the “no thank you.”
It broke my heart, crushed my spirit, and left me with the realization that my dreams were foolish.
I walked away from my computer, determined never to try again. Except that true writers have an urge that can’t be denied.
Writing is a bit like therapy. You get to create a fictional world where you get a second chance to make a different decision, to cast out all your demons, to try new adventures. True writers can’t walk away.
A Contest Can Create Surprising Benefits for a Writer
It took me three long years to write Imperfect Wings and another year to say, “Enough!” to all the polishing and tweaking. And then I had to work up enough courage to let others read it.
I chose a small conference hosted by a group in Texas. I mean, no one knew me there and it was unlikely I’d ever meet them, right? I entered the contest and promptly put it out of my mind.
Imagine by surprise, delight, giddiness when I received a call from the contest coordinators. Imperfect Wings had taken second place in the Romantic Suspense category! Others—professionals—had read my book and liked it enough to honor it with an award.
My Local Fans Have Become Like Family
I have a local fan base that are rabid about my books. They can’t wait to get them and then read through them in a single sitting!
They support me in church, in my community, online, and even give my books as gifts for Christmas, birthdays, any holiday.
I feel a deep sense of gratitude and commitment to them and will do everything in my power to not let them down. They’ve become family.
Advice for a Young Writer: Use It As Your Own Personal Therapy
I have been asked for advice several times. My first question is always, “Why do you want to be writer?”
There is no right or wrong answer, though some reason will support you better through the difficult course of learning.
I would tell them to read. Voraciously. Learn from other authors. Attend writing conferences where you network, attend courses led by those who have already walked your path.
I would advise them how hard the journey will be, with both ups and downs.
Last, I will say, “Write. No matter how hard life gets, no matter how blocked your creative side becomes, no matter how painful the rejection (or critique)—write. Use it as your own personal therapy.”
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Elizabeth Noyes, author of the Imperfect Series, writes clean, action-packed romantic suspense with an edge that grabs readers and draws them into the adventure. The topics of her books touch on many of today’s hot-button concerns such as drug running, illegal weapons, international and homegrown terrorism, and human trafficking, and cover a gamut of cultural issues including, trust, betrayal, anger management, infidelity, dysfunctional families, PTSD, trust, and dealing with the consequences of right and wrong choices.
Elizabeth lives with her husband in the suburbs of Atlanta, and enjoys traveling around the world, reading across many genres, playing bridge, speaking, church activities, watching her three precocious grandchildren grow, and—of course—writing.
For more information on Elizabeth and her work, please see her website, or connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn.
Imperfect Promises: Former Special Forces operative, Jonas Cameron, traded his past and his service for his family back in Idaho and the ranch he loves. But ghosts have a disturbing way of not staying where you leave them.
Shea Townsend is on her way to becoming a chef extraordinaire until her father’s illness pulls her from culinary school and back to Montana to care for him. After his death, disinherited and alone, she sets out to make a new life for herself, one which may or may not include the too-alpha, too-sexy Jonas Cameron.
Jonas learns of a homegrown terrorist threat against him and his family at the same time a mysterious stalker sets his sights on Shea. Determined to neutralize both dangers, Jonas calls on old friends for help and draws upon his own very specialized skill set to end the menaces to Shea and himself.
As the danger escalates, secrets are revealed and the truth emerges in a deadly cat and mouse game with Shea caught in the middle.
Available on Amazon.