I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but as writers,
we all need one skill perhaps more than any other: patience.
Below are five reasons why, along with five tips on how to develop yours.
The Health Dangers of Being Impatient
First, let’s be clear about what patience is. According to the official definition, the quality of patience is “the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.” Impatience, on the other hand, is “intolerance of anything that thwarts, delays, or hinders.”
Recent research has suggested that impatience isn’t just frustrating and irritating—it can be bad for your health. For one thing, it can increase your risk of high blood pressure, even if you’re a young adult.
In one study of people aged 18 to 30, those who scored highest on impatience and hostility tests had an 18.4 percent chance of developing high blood pressure over the next 15 years, whereas those with the lowest scores had a 11.6 percent risk.
Why would this be? Researchers theorized that chronic impatience and hostility may affect the sympathetic nervous system, which can narrow blood vessels and contribute to rising blood pressure.
So-called type “A” personalities who get irritated or frustrated easily are more likely to suffer from health problems as a result, particularly cardiovascular risks. When they become impatient, the body responds as it does when under stress, releasing hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.
Though these hormones help in “fight or flight” situations, when they are chronically high—as they can be in people who are often impatient—they can lead to weight gain, high blood sugar, and high blood pressure.
According to a 2016 study, impatience leads to something else none of us want—premature aging. Researchers from the National University of Singapore studied about 1,150 undergraduate students to see if there was a link between patience and telomere length.
Telomeres are caps on the ends of chromosomes that help protect DNA. They get shorter each time a cell copies itself and eventually become too short to do their job, which triggers cellular aging. The longer your telomeres are, the “younger” your cells are. Conversely, the shorter they are, the “older” you are. Telomeres are like the body’s aging clock.
The researchers performed an experiment to test the participants’ patience, then took blood samples to analyze telomere length. The impatient people were more likely to have shorter telomeres than their more patient counterparts.
The Health Benefits of Being Patient
On the other side of the coin, being patient can provide you with several health benefits. In a 2012 study, researchers found a relationship between patience and overall well-being with the participants who were more patient also being more likely to reach their goals than those who were impatient.
The Mayo Clinic reports a positive relationship between patience and well-being, too, with various studies finding that people who are more patient experience less low mood, are more empathetic, and feel greater gratitude than those who are impatient. The clinic added that patience may even be related to your level of happiness.
Patience can promote mental health, as well. According to a 2007 study, patient people experience less depressive and negative emotions, perhaps because they can cope better with upsetting or stressful situations. They also tend to be more mindful and experience a greater sense of abundance. A later 2014 study reported that patient people are typically more cooperative, empathetic, and forgiving of others.
3 Reasons Why It’s Critical for a Writer to Have Patience
From the research we have so far, we can see that no matter who you are, developing patience is a good idea. But for writers, patience is a must-have skill that we really can’t do without. Here’s why:
1. Writers Have to Wait All the Time
Writers always have to wait. It’s a huge part of our job description. We wait for creative ideas to take shape. We wait to complete our manuscripts, writing a little each day until the story comes together. We give our stories to beta readers and wait for their feedback. We submit queries to agents and editors and wait for their responses. After sending in a full manuscript, we wait again.
Even after we get a publishing contract, we wait for the publisher to get the book into production. Self-publishers wait too—on their editors, proofreaders, and cover designers.
It’s all a waiting game from start to finish. A writer who doesn’t know how to wait comfortably is in for a very stressful life!
2. Writers Have to Roll with the Punches
You may have experienced this: you sign a publishing contract with an editor at a publishing house and you’re off and running toward book production. Then your editor up and leaves the company and your project is handed off to another editor who frankly, doesn’t give a hoot about your project.
All the enthusiasm you and the first editor had for your book has disappeared, only to be replaced by what can best be described as indifference.
It’s not fair! You worked so hard on that book, and the other editor was perfect, just perfect for the project. Everything was going great. Why did she have to leave? You’re frustrated and irritated, and above all, impatient with this new editor, who should be doing more to get up to speed on your project.
It happens. Agents quit. Editors leave. Publishing companies go under. And in 2020, a global pandemic arrives, throwing everyone’s book launch schedules under the bus.
Writers have to be patient to manage all these upheavals. Otherwise, we’ll all suffer heart attacks.
3. A Writer’s Success Often Takes Years to Arrive
Overnight successes are rare in the writing world. Even those writers who seem to have hit it big overnight were typically writing for years before anyone heard of them.
A writer wanting to build a reputation and a body of work has to give it time to unfold. She needs to develop her talent and skills and to find her writing voice. Then she needs to create and publish her stories, build an author platform, and gradually become recognizable to her fans.
All this takes years of work, which of course, requires patience. Writers wanting to “get rich quick” are always sorely disappointed. Even those who are happy with moderate levels of success must be willing to wait for it.
Signs You May Be an Impatient Writer
Are you an impatient writer? Here are some signs you might be:
- If your Internet connection is slower than usual, you feel your heart rate go up.
- You arrive early to your appointments and you’re annoyed when people arrive only on time.
- When your creative ideas are slow in coming, you get irritated and frustrated with yourself.
- When you submit a query or short story, you expect a response in a week. When you don’t get it, you’re ready to write off that editor/agent/publication.
- You burn your mouth regularly on your coffee because you can’t wait to drink it.
- Waiting in line at the store is your version of hell.
- You expect your guest post to be published within a week. If you have to wait longer than that, you’re irritated.
- The book cover is going to take how long to complete?
- Your beta reader has already taken three weeks and she’s not done with your book. You consider replacing her with someone else.
- You ordered a copy of your new book and it takes two days to arrive. You call up the company to complain.
You get the idea. If you’re not the most patient writer, don’t despair—patience is a skill that can be developed. These five tips can help.
5 Ways to Develop Patience as a Writer
1. Accept How Things Are
Often the reason we feel impatient is that we expect things to be different than they are. We expect the book designer to come through with possible cover designs in two weeks. If he/she is late, we feel frustrated and irritated.
The minute we accept things as they are (the graphic designer had a family trauma to deal with), we can relax. Authors want fast responses, successful launches, and publishers who market, but in today’s world, that’s often wishful thinking.
Take a deep breath and accept how things are, then focus on how you can deal with them without giving yourself a heart attack.
2. Reframe the Situation in Your Mind
As soon as you realize you’re feeling impatient, stop and challenge yourself to reframe the situation. Remind yourself that others may be stressed out or dealing with issues you don’t know about, which caused them to fail to respond to your requests as efficiently as you expected.
Keeping a cool head allows you to deal with others in a friendly and polite manner—which is more likely to get you the results you want than if you grow angry and confrontational.
The best trick is to remind yourself that whatever is triggering your impatience is not about you. The editor didn’t leave the publishing company specifically to hurt you, and the agent isn’t taking twice as long to respond to offend you. Other people have other challenges in their lives going on, and remembering that can help you be more patient with them.
3. Keep Your End Goal in Mind
If you’ve suffered from writing or publishing setbacks because of the pandemic or other issues, keep your end goal in mind. You want your story to succeed on the market. Yes, it seems like everything that could go wrong is going wrong, but that doesn’t change your end goal. Your task remains the same: to do everything you can to reach that end goal despite the obstacles in your way.
Putting up with the delays, frustrations, and disappointments will ultimately help you get where you want to go, as long as you don’t get impatient. Take a deep breath and then step back to determine your next move.
4. Say What You’re Grateful For
Gratitude has enormous power when it comes to dissipating frustration and helping you feel more patient. In a 2014 study, researchers reported that grateful people were more patient in general. When given a choice between getting an immediate cash reward or waiting a year for a larger windfall ($100), less grateful people caved in as soon as the reward climbed to $18. Grateful people waited at least until the reward reached $30.
You can use gratitude as a way to practice patience. When you start to feel impatient about something, stop and list three things you’re grateful for.
Here’s an example: Say you’re impatient with your progress on your story. You’re feeling frustrated and angry at yourself. Stop and list three things you’re grateful for.
I’m grateful I have the time to write this story as it ought to be written.
I’m grateful for the chapters I’ve completed so far.
I’m grateful for the characters that I’ve come to love.
Then take a deep breath and see if you don’t feel better.
5. Embrace the Uncomfortable
As a society today, we are highly focused on comfort. We are extremely fortunate in general, as most of us have plenty to eat, safe places to sleep, and enough income to enjoy ourselves now and then.
We’ve also grown used to being able to have what we want when we want it, which has made us less patient than our parents and grandparents. Many of us have a hard time tolerating being uncomfortable for very long.
When you’re feeling impatient, remind yourself that you’re simply feeling uncomfortable and that this discomfort will pass. Tell yourself, “This is merely uncomfortable. It is not intolerable.”
Take a few deep breaths, then focus on what you can do to feel better. Maybe you can distract yourself with some music or a fun game on your phone. Maybe you can call someone who will support you. Review the positive comments you’ve gotten on your story so far, or research some other agents or editors to query.
Let the discomfort be while you go do something else. You’ll soon find that you’re feeling a lot more patient.
How do you cultivate patience as a writer?
Sources
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Kotulak, Ronald, and Tribune S. Reporter. “Hostile, Impatient? Study Links Traits to High Blood Pressure.” Chicagotribune.com. Last modified September 4, 2018. https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-2003-10-22-0310220303-story.html.
Mann, Samuel J. “Hostility and Impatience as Risk Factors for Hypertension.” JAMA 291, no. 6 (February 2004), 692. doi:10.1001/jama.291.6.692-a.
Mayo Clinic Staff. “3 Ways to Learn Patience and Amp Up Your Well-being.” Mayo Clinic. Last modified May 23, 2019. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/3-ways-to-learn-patience-and-amp-up-your-well-being/art-20390072.
Comer, Debra, and Leslie E. Sekerka. “Taking time for patience in organizations.” Journal of Management Development 33, no. 1 (2014), 6-23. doi:10.1108/jmd-11-2013-0132.
Schnitker, Sarah A. “An examination of patience and well-being.” The Journal of Positive Psychology 7, no. 4 (2012), 263-280. doi:10.1080/17439760.2012.697185.
Schnitker, Sarah A., and Robert A. Emmons. “Patience as a virtue: Religious and psychological perspectives.” Research in the Social Scientific Study of Religion, Volume18 (n.d.), 177-208. doi:10.1163/ej.9789004158511.i-301.69.
Yorka, Bob. “Researchers Find Link Between Impatience and Faster Aging.” Medical Xpress – Medical Research Advances and Health News. Last modified February 23, 2016. https://medicalxpress.com/news/2016-02-link-impatience-faster-aging.html.
Just shared this with my partner. Good article 😀
Thanks, Rachel. Glad you enjoyed it. :O)