Being Uncomfortable

4 Reasons Why Being Uncomfortable is a Success Strategy for Writers

If you want to be successful as a writer, you have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

That’s not easy in today’s world. Americans have become addicted to comfort.

There’s a term for it: “comfort addition.” Like any other, this addiction keeps you seeking the next “hit” rather than making smart choices for your future.

The problem is that anytime we feel uncomfortable, the solution is typically right at our fingertips. We can purchase something new online, reach for a tasty treat, or flop down in front of the television.

We can pull up a movie on our smartphones and tablets, text a friend, or find something in seconds to amuse us.

These behaviors may make us comfortable in the moment, but they usually make us unhappy in the long run.

“Comfort – just like alcohol, sugar or cocaine – makes you feel temporarily better,” writes Helen Kirwan-Taylor in Tatler. Yet too much comfort lowers our resilience, reduces our ability to deal with challenges, and keeps us from growing, both as people and as writers.

Feeling TrappedAvoiding Discomfort Keeps You Trapped Where You Are

As long as you make being comfortable a priority, it’s unlikely that you will make your writing dreams come true.

That’s because what is comfortable is also familiar. By clinging to comfort, you are choosing only the familiar and failing to allow yourself to learn something new or manage a novel situation—such as self-publishing your book or speaking at a writing event.

“We’d happily sacrifice comfort for familiarity, and we already sacrifice growth for it, growth being the opposite of familiarity,” wrote Dan Munro for The Inspirational Lifestyle. “How often have you avoided opportunities to change with the excuse of not knowing ‘how to do it?’ Think for a minute on how absurd this excuse is.”

You’re also neglecting to push yourself when you don’t feel like it or to drag yourself through a novel draft that refuses to come easy. “No pain, no gain” the saying goes when it comes to exercise and staying fit. The same could be said of building a writing career.

There are so many steps between starting writing and experiencing writing success that can be difficult or painful! Here are just a few:

  • Fitting writing time into your busy life
  • Struggling to finish the story
  • Dealing with writer’s block
  • Suffering through difficult feedback
  • Budgeting for writing mentors and classes
  • Making difficult edits on your story
  • Finding your niche
  • Creating an online platform
  • Educating yourself on book marketing
  • Finding time to market your work
  • Dealing with lackluster book launches and poor reviews

All of these and more require you to ditch comfort and embrace being uncomfortable, at least for a short time.

“The science shows, though, that it’s just the opposite of the velvet cocoon that gratifies us,” wrote Joe Robinson in HuffPost. “The more we chase external comfort, the more uncomfortable we are on the inside.”

Is it worth it? Ask any writer and they’re likely to tell you it is.

My latest novel (The Beached Ones, forthcoming from CamCat Books in 2022), was the hardest one I’ve completed yet. Not only was it extremely difficult to write (I came up against a block multiple times while working on multiple drafts), it was also difficult emotionally because the subject matter was close to my heart.

It took me several years to finally create a draft I was happy with. At that point, I felt a great sense of peace simply because I had overcome the challenges and completed the story I had wanted to tell. When I found a publisher for it, it was clear everything I had gone through was worth it.

How about you? Are you willing to undergo some daily discomfort to make your writing dreams come true?

4 Ways Being Uncomfortable Can Make Your Writing Dreams Come True

1. Writing When You Don’t Feel Like It Leads to Finished Projects

It’s so easy to put off writing “just for today.” But that day is likely to turn into two days, a week, and even a few months if you’re not careful. Meanwhile, you will lose track of your story, your characters, and your plot, so that you have to go back and retrace your steps when you finally return to your manuscript.

It’s okay if writing feels uncomfortable on occasion, or even often. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be a writer, or that you will not be a successful one.

It just means that your inner child would rather watch television or play video games. You are the adult here. You have to make the right decision for your future.

2. Parting with Your Money to Hire an Editor or Book Doctor Leads to Better Writing

Most people understand that if they want to learn how to do something, it helps to have a mentor or teacher to guide them. Some writers, however, seem to believe that simply writing is all that’s necessary.

If you’re one of those writers, I urge you to browse your neighborhood or online bookstore sometime soon. Observe the plethora of really well-written books out there. Understand the enormity of the competition. Are your skills really up to what you’re seeing on the market?

Sure, we’ve all read the occasional “bad” novel, but if you want to stand out when it comes to editors, agents, and publishers—or even readers—you owe it to yourself to budget for some professional help.

Writing groups can be supportive and encouraging, but when it comes to improving your writing skills, nothing replaces an experienced writer or editor. You can find them online, in workshops, and at conferences.

The important thing is to save money and invest in your writing education. You may prefer to spend it on a new home improvement, outfit, comfortable chair, or new car, but your writing career needs to come first.

Give yourself a chance in today’s ultra-competitive market!

3. Being Okay with Failure Helps You Learn

Everyone wants to succeed. No one wants to fail. But nobody gets to success except through failure.

If you’re running from failure, you’re trapping yourself squarely in your comfort zone, and you will be unable to grow as a writer.

I started my first blog after I got my first publishing contract, back in 2013. It wasn’t a “failure,” really, but nor was it a success. I didn’t get many readers, and the blog wasn’t motivating or helpful to my platform.

So I tried again, creating this blog, and the story was completely different. The point is that you have to be willing to try new things and see how they go. If you don’t experience the success you want, you can always try again.

The same is true with your writing. I wrote seven unpublishable novel manuscripts before I wrote a publishable one. Try and try again the saying goes, but to do that, you have to be willing to experience the discomfort of failure.

All your efforts are unlikely to be successful. That’s the case for most creative people.

Keep writing. Keep putting it out there. If it flops, get some more education and try again. Failure isn’t fun, but it makes the successes taste that much sweeter.

4. Being Uncomfortable in General Means You’re Doing it Right

If you’re feeling comfortable in your writing career right now, you’re doing something wrong.

Success comes from constantly pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Even after 20 years as a professional writer, I regularly feel nervous about what I’m doing. I worry that I may not be up to writing my current work in progress as well as I want to. My nerves alight when submitting to publishers. Any new marketing techniques I try may not work. And what will readers think?

But I know that these are good signs. It’s when I’m feeling too comfortable that I know I’m slacking off. And that’s usually when I start to feel down and a little depressed, too.

Have you noticed this? When you’re not challenging yourself, putting yourself out there, trying new things, and feeling a little scared about how it all will turn out, do you feel like nothing is happening in your writing career? Like nothing is moving and maybe you aren’t cut out to be a writer?

It’s much better to feel nervous or scared about what you’re doing than to feel safe and comfortable but depressed about the fact that your writing career is stagnating.

“If you want to maximize learning you need to make sure you’re doing hard things 70 percent of the time,” wrote Jessica Stillman for Inc. “It’s tough to face the possibility of failure for such a huge chunk of your working life, but this new research confirms Hoffman is on to something. If you’re not at least a little stressed about the outcome of what you’re doing, your brain shuts down learning.”

Embrace being uncomfortable. It means you’re probably doing the right thing and that soon you’ll have the rewards to show for it.

Have you embraced being uncomfortable?


Sources
Kirwan-Taylor, Helen. “Are You a Comfort Addict and Utterly Addicted to Indulgence?” Tatler. Last modified May 13, 2019. https://www.tatler.com/article/are-you-a-comfort-addict.

Munro, Dan. “Our Crippling Addiction to Comfort.” The Inspirational Lifestyle. Last modified June 1, 2017. https://www.theinspirationallifestyle.com/our-crippling-addiction-to-comfort/.

Robinson, Joe. “Why Comfort Is Actually Bad For You.” HuffPost. Last modified November 14, 2011. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/comfort-hazardous-to-health_b_957788.

Stillman, Jessica. “Science Has Just Confirmed That If You’re Not Outside Your Comfort Zone, You’re Not Learning.” Inc.com. Last modified August 14, 2018. https://www.inc.com/jessica-stillman/want-to-learn-faster-make-your-life-more-unpredictable.html.

2 Comments

  1. This post was very helpful as I am going through something similar right now. I only started studying the writing craft last year after thinking about it for most of my life. Last year I wrote whatever stories came to mind and didn’t care how horrible they were or how inexperienced I was. I just wrote for enjoyment. Now, I feel like I’ve lost that creative spark and the more I learn about the craft, the more frightened I get as I know I am nowhere good enough to ever publish. Some days I want to give up but I still can’t stop thinking about writing everyday. I try and push forward by learning as much as I can and reaching out to other writers for support. If anyone has any additional advice or encouragement, I would greatly appreciate it.

    1. Author

      Hey, Cindy. I hear you. We all go through those discouraging times, and they can be particularly difficult when you’re just starting out and realizing you have so far to go. Sometimes the prospect of becoming the writer you want to become can seem overwhelming! What helps me is just focusing on the process of writing and what I enjoy about it, and taking little steps along the way to improve my work. So reading books about writing, signing up for workshops, hiring an editor at some point, those types of things. Try not to look too far ahead and just enjoy the journey as they say. Writing has so many wonderful gifts to give us its worthwhile pursuing no matter what happens. It’s clear you enjoy it, so don’t give up!

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