By Elizabeth Antonucci
In October 2007, I was in a fatal car accident
that took a friend’s life and almost took my own.
It was a one-car accident. The driver of our car fell asleep at the wheel and when he realized what happen, he overcorrected, the car flipped, rolled seven times and I was ejected through the sunroof.
I was found 50 feet from the car (some reports said 50 yards). I suffered a broken neck, arm, shoulder, shoulder blade, and ankle. I was in a hospital in Utah for about a month and then in and out of rehabilitation; physical, occupational, and speech for about a year and a half total with outpatient physical therapy continuing for about six years post-accident.
I had to relearn how to do everything. I needed assistance with everything. I really didn’t know how I was going to get my life back.
Writing Was My Form of Therapy After a Severe Car Accident
I first started writing as a form of therapy.
My therapist thought it would be a good idea for me to journal to release some of the fears, emotions, and depression I was holding onto. So I started “free writing” on different topics and writing down different memories I had.
At one point, I thought it was going to be a one-woman show as I have done a lot of theater in the past, but it turned into a book. Not right away, but eventually.
My Family Didn’t Even Know About the Fear Surrounding What I Was Writing
In the beginning, my thoughts while writing were filled with fear, anger, depression, and sadness.
I was stuck in a hospital bed recovering at my parents’ house at 22 years old. I didn’t understand why this had to happen nor how it happened. That was in 2008.
There was a period of time for probably about four or five years where I didn’t pick up or look at the memories I had written. It triggered too many emotions for me and I wasn’t ready to relive it.
In about 2014/2015 I picked it back up again and that is when the book as it is now, was really conceived. There was a TON of self-doubt and fear surrounding what I was writing. So much that people didn’t know. Heck, that my family didn’t even know.
But, I knew that this was the book I was meant to write.
I Wanted to Be Sure I was True to Myself and My Story
Once I had really had a chance to wrap my head around the accident and understand what I had gone through, I found the entire process of writing the book both extremely therapeutic, easier than I thought, a lot of fun, and extremely rewarding (with a little bit of self-doubt sprinkled in there).
There were days that I would write two or three chapters at a time and there were days where I would stare at a blank word document page for hours getting frustrated and annoyed.
My parents, siblings, and therapist knew I was writing a book and were always very encouraging. I didn’t let anybody read it however, or share details until I was finished writing it and had gotten the first draft back from my editor. I didn’t want to be influenced by their comments, thoughts, questions and write something that wasn’t true to myself and my story.
Readers’ Responses Proved to Me How Powerful My Voice Is
Before I wrote my book, I felt trapped, stuck, and full of doubt.
I knew I had something to share, but there was a really big part of me (my old friend Fear) keeping me from doing so. Fear of what others would think, say, not say, etc.
Now, after writing my book, I feel empowered, brave, courageous, and hopeful. I have started working on two more books and have done a few speeches. The notes, emails, and responses I have heard have touched me to my core.
They have proven to me how powerful my voice is and how much of an impact my story can have. How our world is craving real, human, relatable stories. It has pushed me to further develop myself and my writing to meet the need that I have seen.
One of the Most Surprising Things to Me: How Men Related to My Book
The book is having a huge impact on both myself and others. Two instances stick out in my mind.
I was giving a speech to a group of college kids and a young man came up to me after the talk and told me how he could relate to what I had been through. He told me what he had gone through and how what I said finally gave him the power to start moving forward.
Another time, another male in his late 50s I would say, wrote me an email after finishing my book and told me how he related to the many different topics and themes in my book. Just some background; my book is broken up into two parts. The first part is my accident and my journey through recovery and the second part is about all the lessons I have learned in my life from the accident. Some of the topics and themes are; Beauty, Body Image/Eating Disorders, Rape, Finding Your Voice, and more.
Many would say women would have a very easy time relating to my book. So, it was a complete surprise to me when two men had mentioned how much this book meant to them and how much they related to it. That has been one of the most surprising things to me.
Advice for Other Writers: Make Writing a Special Time for Yourself
I think the one major piece of advice I would pass on to another who is considering writing something similar (or anything for that matter) is to just do it. Go for it. There is really no time like the present.
I know that sounds cliché, but it is true. What really worked for me was making it a special time for myself. I would light my favorite candle, put on one of these artists (Anderson East, Ray LaMontange, Billy Joel, or Jonny Lang) and either sit at my desk or on my bed. I couldn’t have anybody else around and it was me time. I would just write. I wouldn’t edit as I went, I saved that for a later time. I just got my words on the paper. That, to me, was half the battle.
The world needs to hear your story. Your voice is extremely important. What you have to say matters. So, don’t censor yourself because you are scared or worried. Let your words out. Then give yourself some space and allow yourself to go back and edit (carefully).
Remember that You Are Enough
The one major thing I hope readers take away from my book would have to be that they are “enough.” The notion to remember they are enough in anything they do. Whether that is in their job, in their relationships, in their friendships, in the relationship they have with themselves, how they speak about themselves, and the types of things they pursue.
If you can remember you are enough and you can do it – the world is yours to conquer.
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Elizabeth Antonucci currently lives in Clovis, California, with her loving husband Brian and their incredibly hyperactive, digging addict, toy-destroying puppy, Walker. She volunteers at Big Brothers Big Sisters of Central California and is a Realtor with Guarantee Real Estate.
For more information about Elizabeth and her work, please see her website, or connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Fractured: My Journey Back from Death and the Lessons I’ve Learned Along the Way: From the outside looking in, Elizabeth had the perfect life. She had a family who loved her, numerous friends, and a successful career. No one knew the hurt, pain, and angst she hid inside, struggling to keep herself small so those around her would still like her.
It all came to a head on October 23, 2007, when her parents received a call that she was lying lifeless in the ICU in a hospital in Utah—”You better get out here, your daughter is not going to make it.” Fractured: My Journey Back from Death and the Lessons I’ve Learned Along the Way is the memoir of Elizabeth’s recovery, spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally. It is about her deliberate decision to begin the hard work of finding and using her voice and the struggle to break out of the box that society tried to keep her in.
This is the story of what happens when one woman stared death in the face and decided to make a conscious choice not to go back to sleep, but to wake up and live the life she knew she was meant to live.
Available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and iBooks.