Two Words that are Deadly to Your Writing Career

Are you sabotaging your future success before you even begin?

I’ve spoken at several writer’s conferences and events over the last few years, which means I’ve talked to a lot of aspiring and experienced writers.

Many come to me with questions about one facet or another of their writing careers. I can often tell within 60 seconds whether the writer is going to go on to experience great things, or whether his or her career will stall for an unknown amount of time.

One of the tell-tale signs the writer will likely encounter a “stall” typically comes around early in the conversation. It happens when I hear two very telling words come out of the writer’s mouth.

The two words are:

“Yes, but…”

These words may sound innocent enough, but they’re anything but innocent. The second a writer utters them, I know that writer is dooming himself or herself to more struggle, self-doubt, and lack of progress.

Let me give you a few examples of what I mean.

Three Ways These Two Dangerous Words Keep Writers Stuck

1. The Writer Needs More Time to Write

One of the topics I often speak about is finding time to write. We all need to fit writing into our busy lives somehow, and it’s rarely easy. Most of us have jobs and families we have to tend to, as well as all the other things that happen in life (the car breaks down, a loved one gets sick, a job disappears, etc.).

There is always a way to get the writing done, but it takes a can-do attitude and a flexible approach to challenges. Some writers will come up to me determined to make it happen, and I know within a few precious moments that they will. Other writers, however, love to use those two words.

“Yes, but I have a family and they need me.”

I get it. Families are important. Many writers have families, yet they manage to get the writing in. A writer who assumes that having a family means she can’t write is a writer doomed to stall.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with deciding that you want to focus on your family and therefore writing needs to take a back seat. But writers who come talk to me clearly want to write. They’re asking me for solutions. I try to give them some options—hire a babysitter for a couple hours a week, share childcare with your spouse on the weekends, write in small snatches of time—but each of my suggestions are meant with those same words: “Yes, but…”

So I eventually stop trying, the writer goes away, and nothing changes. I know the writer will continue to face the same difficulty, because he or she is unwilling to take a stand.

This is just one example. There are a variety of reasons writers come up with as to why they can’t find time to write. The result is the same. If those two words come out, there will be no solution, only more struggles.

Either make way for writing, or make peace with the fact that you’re leaving it aside for the moment. You’ll feel much better if you make a decision.

2. The Writer Knows It’s Time to Dump the Agent

Agents can present a number of complications in a writer’s life. There’s the initial struggle to get an agent, then the typical long wait to see if the agent is able to sell the book, then the often inevitable struggles that come up after that.

I had a writer recently talk to me about what was obviously an unhappy situation with her agent. I could see it all over her face that she was really struggling with the relationship. She’d had the agent for a couple years, but nothing was happening in her writing career.

The agent had been unable to sell her first book, and had given up on it. But instead of severing the relationship then, the writer continued it, working with the same agent on a second book. She taking advice and edits from the agent to create what she hoped would be a more marketable story. But now the agent wasn’t responding to her calls, and was taking far too long to get back to her between communications.

It was clear the writer was unhappy, and felt stuck. She wanted help finding the courage and confidence to do something about it. I told her it was obvious she was visibly upset, and that the relationship wasn’t taking her forward. I asked her if she’d considered severing the relationship with the agent. And here came those two words:

“Yes, but I’ve already worked with her for two years.”

But it sounds like things aren’t moving forward, I said. I suggested she remember that she didn’t need an agent to get started in her writing career. She could submit to smaller indie presses on her own.

“Yes, but I really want to get in with one of the top five publishers.”

Okay. I knew right there I was fighting a losing battle. I didn’t bother telling her that the odds of a brand new writer getting into one of the top five were stacked against her, and that getting started with an indie press would help her move forward. I could tell she wasn’t ready to hear that. And I knew as she left that she was going to spend another good while longer stuck in limbo while she struggled with her agent.

Sometimes we have to make hard choices as writers. If you find yourself saying the words, “Yes, but…” realize they could be telling you that you have to make a decision. Your career is in your hands, ultimately. Writers are entrepreneurs. An agent isn’t going to do it for you, and if your career isn’t moving forward, it’s up to you to take the next step, even if it’s scary or painful. But taking a step ahead is always preferable to staying stuck.

3. The Writer Needs to Invest in Himself/Herself

Writing can be a deceptively “cheap” endeavor at first. All you need is a pen and notebook, or a computer. But as you go, you realize that continuing to write on your own, tucked away in your isolated world, isn’t going to get you where you want to go.

Learning to become a better writer and beyond that, to market yourself and create an author platform, requires education. Writers need to invest in their own self-improvement if they hope to succeed, and must learn new skills in the craft itself and in the publishing business.

This is not a one-and-done sort of thing. Technology is moving faster every day, and it affects how we need to publish and market to reach our readers. Eventually, writers must face that fact that they’re going to have to invest in themselves and their careers. It may mean attending more conferences, taking more classes, upgrading a website, getting professional photos done, traveling for research or book signings or other marketing tasks, and more.

When the issue comes up with some writers, however, the answer involves those two little words again.

“Yes, but it’s expensive and I can’t afford it.”

I get it. Finances can be tight, and often are. But I know from experience that where there’s a will, there’s a way. It’s those writers who are willing to save even a little each month to put toward their careers that will end up succeeding.

I had one writer comment on the fact that I took a trip once to research my novel. He said something like yes, that would be great, but it was too expensive, implying that I had all sorts of extra funds around just waiting to be spent on a trip.

I didn’t bother telling the commenter that the trip took more than a year to manage financially. I didn’t add that it also took months to prepare for or that it was a struggle to catch up afterwards. Once I heard those two words, I knew the writer had erected a mental block, and I wasn’t going to get through.

I did say that the trip was totally worth it, and it was. I’ve had to stretch myself financially many times over in service to my writing career, but every time it was well worth it, and I don’t regret any of the investments I’ve made. If you’re willing to work a little harder and cut back where you need to, you can make it happen.

These Two Dangerous Words Will Stop a Writer’s Progress

These are just a few examples of how these two words can come up in conversation with writers. There are many more. The point is that it’s important to watch yourself when you’re talking about your writing career, and see if these words come up.

Sometimes we aren’t even aware of how they’re keeping us stuck. If you hear yourself or one of your writer friends saying them, stop and ask yourself, “Why am I stuck on this?” Then see if you can find a way forward.

Are you stopping your writing progress with these two dangerous words?