10 Important Things Life Has Taught Me So Far

I typically publish my regular weekly blogs on Tuesdays.

This week, that Tuesday just happens to land on my birthday, so I thought it might be fun to reflect on what I’ve learned over the last (ahem) few years. Not enough, probably, but I do have some things I’d like to share, just in case they may benefit you somewhere along the line.

10 Things I’ve Learned So Far in Life

1. Self-Doubt is a Habit You Can Overcome

So much of my life has been filled with self-doubt, particularly where my writing was concerned. I frequently worried I didn’t have the talent for it, and could be wasting countless hours working on something that would always be beyond my reach.

I still have these doubts from time to time, but I’ve learned they can be overcome by reminding myself that I’m once again stuck in a bad habit. My brain is used to thinking doubting thoughts, so when they come up, I have only to tell myself to “stop,” remind myself that I’m stuck in a negative loop, and distract myself with some other activity. The thoughts stop, I get back to reality, and back to work, and don’t “indulge” those thoughts anymore.

The more I do this stopping technique, the less power the doubting thoughts have over me. I imagine they’ll always pop up, but I have a technique that keeps me from falling under their spell, and that makes life much better.

2. Tough Times Always Pass if You Hang In There

I have two younger brothers, and I’ve watched them go through some pretty tough times in recent years. I remember what it felt like to go through those times at the ages they are. It can feel like things will never get better, especially when you run out of answers and you’re not sure what to do next.

But after being around for a few decades, you learn that life travels in cycles, and the one thing you can count on is change. Eventually, you’ll emerge from those tough times, and things will get better again. It helps to retain that hope in your heart, and to keep looking for the things you can be grateful for.

3. Using Your Talents to Help Others Leads to Happiness

I want to say this to every person reading this post: “You are better than you think you are.” You have more strengths, more gifts, and more talents to share, and the more you focus on them and how you can use them to brighten the lives of others the better your life will become.

One thing writers tend to do early on is to focus too much on themselves. It’s normal and natural at first, as you’re trying to find your voice and your niche in the writing world. But eventually, you need to look up and ask yourself how you can use the skills you’ve gained to lift others up.

One of the reasons I feel more fulfilled and happy today than in years past is because I’m helping others through the work that I’m doing. Interacting with others, sharing what you’ve learned, and impacting others’ lives, even in small ways, is really what makes life worth living.

4. Pursuing Your Passion is Always the Right Choice

When I first started writing, I never could have imagined that it would lead to the career I have today. I just started because I felt compelled to write. I was pursuing a passion, and that can be scary. Later, when I decided to try freelance writing, it was super scary, as I was giving up the security of a full-time job.

But I knew what I wanted—more flexible hours, the ability to spend more time on fiction writing, and the chance to choose my own projects—so I went for it. There were some bumps along the road, but those choices led me to where I am today. Looking back, I can’t imagine where I’d be if I hadn’t taken those risks.

Whether you create an entire career behind your passion or simply pursue it on the side, it really is the key to a motivated and vibrant life. Being able to wake up knowing you can spend at least part of the day on something you’re passionate about is well worth any risk.

5. Self-Care Means a Disciplined Approach to Life and Health

I’ve been a health writer for over 20 years. The older I get, the more I realize that true self care requires a disciplined approach to your daily routine. I also know that the effort, even when you don’t feel like it, is so worth it in terms of your long-term ability to enjoy life.

Even with all I know, I still frequently have to drag myself by the shirt collar to exercise, or to change my eating habits when I notice a few extra pounds showing up.

Self-care isn’t an indulgence. It’s not the occasional massage or weekend retreat drinking kale smoothies. It’s an everyday commitment to the habits you know will increase your odds of having the energy and positivity you need to continue to enjoy life to the fullest.

6. It’s Never Too Late to Discover New Things About Yourself

It’s only in the past few years that I’ve been engaged in speaking at workshops, writer’s conferences and other events, and I’ve discovered that not only do I love it, but hey, I may have some talent for it (based on feedback from others). That proves to me that it’s never too late to discover latent talents you could put to good use in your creative career.

That’s one of the cool things about a) seeking to find new ways to help others with your skills, and b) building a writing business. We know in today’s publishing world, we all have to diversify if we want to earn a full-time living—or even simply get the word out about our work—and sometimes that can push us to explore other talents or skills we may be able to develop.

What else might you be able to do, and do well, that you haven’t thought of yet? Keep finding ways to grow your business, and you may be pleasantly surprised.

7. Time In Nature is Critical to Good Physical and Mental Health

There are countless studies showing the health benefits of time in nature. I know personally, whenever I get out—even if it’s just for an evening walk—I feel better afterwards.

Unfortunately, with all the technology surrounding us, many people are retreating further and further away from nature. They’re spending most of their time in front of one screen or another, and that can quickly rob you of not only your energy and vitality, but your connection to what’s real.

Walking on a dirt trail surrounded by trees while listening to the water gurgle in the creek reminds you of the simplicity of life, and brings you back to the essential nature of who you are as a human being. It’s worth making time in your schedule to get off the pavement, away from the screens, and out where you can fill your lungs with fresh air as frequently as possible.

8. The Little Things Really Do Make Life Worth Living

It’s a cliché to say that the little things matter most, but it’s true—they really do. Spending time with loved ones, taking a walk at sunset, stargazing, eating an ice cream cone on a hot summer day, playing with a beloved pet, making music with friends, enjoying a delicious meal, sharing good news, watching a favorite television series—all these and more help create happy moments that brighten up our daily lives.

The only thing we have to remember is not to take them for granted.

9. It’s Wise to Learn as Much as You Can About What Makes You Tick

Most things in life we can’t control, like how others behave or how they respond to our work. We can’t control when disaster strikes, or when the dishwasher breaks down.

We can control ourselves, however, but we can’t do that very well if we don’t know ourselves. Problem is, most of us don’t—at least, not very well. In a 2011 study, researchers reported that our friends are more accurate when describing our intellect and creativity than we are!

Researchers pointed out that we all have blind spots in self-perception that others can see more clearly, particularly in areas of intelligence, attractiveness, and creativity. These are especially hard to judge objectively, lead author Simine Vazire said, because “there is so much at stake, meaning your life is going to be so much different if you are intelligent or not intelligent, attractive or not. Everybody wants to be seen as intelligent and attractive, but these desirable traits we’re not going to judge accurately in ourselves.”

That’s why feedback is so important. Though you have to be careful not to tune into the naysayers, you can take classes, get multiple critiques and see what they have in common, and stay open to what others have to say without putting too much weight on the negative. It’s also wise to keep discovering new things about yourself through new experiences.

As Socrates said, “know thyself”—it’s the doorway to better relationships, a more satisfying career, and personal happiness.

10. Watch Out for and be Grateful for Your Angels

I’m not speaking about religious angels here, but people who show up in your life and lead you to a better place, simply because of who they are. We all receive benefits from these angels along the way, but we often don’t realize it until it’s too late.

My angels include my mom, first of all, who’s always believed I could do whatever I put my mind to; the high school English teacher whom I credit for teaching me how to write and how to speak in public; the uncle who kept telling me all through my uncertain adolescence not to worry, that one day “your light will shine;” the boss who took a chance on me and hired me for my first writing job; the marketing manager who hand-picked me to be the writer for the health department; the editors who encouraged my writing along the way; and so many more.

None of us gets by in life on our own. We all have angels that make the journey a little easier. Be on the look out for them, and as often as you can, let them know how special they are.

What life lessons have you learned along the way?

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Source:
Vazire, S., & Carlson, E. N. (2011). Others Sometimes Know Us Better Than We Know Ourselves. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 20(2), 104-108. doi:10.1177/0963721411402478