How to Find Time to Write When You’re a Caregiver

Is it possible to write when you’re a caregiver?

When a loved one becomes ill, it can seem like everything else in life stops. You still have to work and pay the bills, but the overwhelming concern is for your loved one’s well being, and during a long-term, serious illness, that concern often outweighs every other.

Caregiving can become as demanding as a second job, making it near impossible to find time for anything other than living up to your daily responsibilities.

Yet the desire to write doesn’t go away, at least not for many writers. In fact, writing can be a welcome respite from the stresses of life as a caregiver, if only you can find a way to make room for it.

Millions of Caregivers Out There

According to the National Center on Caregiving, approximately 43.5 million caregivers have provided unpaid care to an adult or child in the last 12 months, whereas about 34.2 million have provided unpaid care to an adult age 50 or older in the last 12 months.

The Alzheimer’s Association states that about 15.7 million adult family caregivers care for someone with Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia.

The majority of these folks are women, with the Institute on Aging stating that upwards of 75 percent of all caregivers are female, and may spend as much as 50 percent more time providing care than males. Among spousal caregivers over the age of 75, though, both genders provide equal amounts of care.

Write While You’re a Caregiver: Caregiving Takes Its Toll

Whatever your gender or age, caregiving is likely to take its toll. Caregivers are known for putting the needs of their loved ones above their own, and they often suffer because of it.

A number of studies have shown that caregiving can create negative physical and mental health effects. In 2008, researchers reported that caregiving often results in chronic stress, which comprises the caregiver’s physical and psychological health. They also noted that one of the common side effects of caregiving is depression.

Caring for a loved one with dementia has proven to be one of the most difficult scenarios. Some studies have shown that it can increase risk of mortality for the caregiver, particularly if that caregiver experiences stress or emotional strain. In one concerning study, researchers found that “caregivers who provide support to their spouse and report caregiving strain are 63% more likely to die within 4 years than noncaregivers.”

Researchers added that caregivers who live with the care recipient experience higher levels of strain and burden. The length of the caregiving period also affects the health outcomes on the caregiver—the longer the person remains in that role, the more likely negative outcomes are to occur.

Write When You’re a Caregiver: What About the Stress?

By far the key finding, though, is that whether a caregiver experiences long-term health problems connected with his or her caregiving depends entirely on the level of strain experienced.

Highly strained caregivers have shown depression scores over twice as high as noncaregivers, and are also more vulnerable to physical health effects, but caregivers experiencing low strain can actually live longer than those who aren’t caregivers.

Older caregivers may be particularly vulnerable, since the role of caregiving is not only physically and emotionally taxing, but financially, as well. The stress of caregiving can exacerbate existing health problems, such as high blood pressure.

Older caregivers may also be more at risk for suffering falls and other injuries while performing their duties, and may be more likely to care for a loved one with dementia, which studies have suggested is the most difficult form of caregiving.

The American Psychological Association (APA) notes that “caregiving strain is often worsened by certain kinds of caregiving demands (dementia and end-of-life care) and in circumstances where caregivers do not have enough resources (knowledge, skills, social support, respite, and community services) and can be overwhelmed.”

Why It Can Be Difficult to Write When You’re a Caregiver

Writers who are caregivers struggle with all of the above issues, but they also experience a unique type of strain—that of losing time to write.

Writing has shown in a number of studies to be therapeutic. For a writer, writing can feel as necessary as breathing, and being unable to devote the usual time to it can increase stress and emotional strain. We feel as if we are neglecting a good friend, or missing out on something that sustains us.

“By voluntarily sacrificing my writing,” says writer Emme Gannon, “I’d blasted a hole in my soul that couldn’t be filled by anything else.”

Once you become a caregiver, your to-do list naturally extends, and you’re likely to find that you have less and less time to devote to your craft. If you’re a working writer with books planned and launches coming up, the stress can become overwhelming as you try to figure out how you’re going to fit it all in.

You may be tempted to delay your deadlines and put off your publishing plans, but one thing you shouldn’t give up is your writing time. Writing is not only your passion, it may also be the key to relieving your caregiving stress.

“Being a caregiver doesn’t mean you have to give up writing which can lead to resentment,” says author Donna Clark Goodrich. “It just means you use your time wisely. Taking time to do what you feel called to do and what you enjoy doing will make you a more loving caregiver — and a more insightful writer.”

7 Tips to Help You Write When You’re a Caregiver

If you’re a writer and a caregiver, remember the key to your long-term health is to reduce the strain you’re feeling. Below are seven ways you can do that, along with tips to help you keep your writing afloat while you adapt to the challenges life has given you.

1. Find Ways to Lower Your Stress

In one study, researchers found that caregivers who were highly stressed were more at risk for mortality, while caregivers who not stressed did not suffer this type of risk.

Finding ways to reduce the stress you feel can help you protect your own health. Reducing stress also encourages creativity, as noted in our previous post.

One of the best stress-relieving things you can do is called “mindfulness-based stress reduction.” This technique combines meditation, yoga, and body awareness to help people become more mindful, and to help reduce stress and increase relaxation.

In one study on women around the age of 60, researchers found that participating in a two-hour mindfulness program once a week for eight weeks resulted in more relaxed breathing patterns and lower levels of the stress hormone, cortisol. Find more information on this type of stress relief at The Mindful Word.

Writer When You’re a Caregiver Tip 2. Journal Regularly

Writers are naturally primed to help themselves relieve the stress of caregiving through their passion—writing.

Since several studies indicate that emotional strain is what increases risk of mortality for caregivers, the important thing is to find ways to deal with that emotional strain, and writing is one of the best ways to do that.

Research shows that journaling regularly helps improve physical and psychological health. One University of Iowa School of Nursing review of 13 studies found that writing about stressful events helped boost the immune system, and kept participants out of the doctor’s office. Participants also experienced decreased emotional pain, and said the writing helped enhance the meaning in their caregiving experiences.

Journaling can also help you spot patterns occurring in your life as a caregiver. When you look back on your entries, you may see things that could be simplified, improved, or totally eliminated to make things easier.

You may find that certain caregiving tasks, for example, are easier at certain times of the day (Dad is more willing to bathe in the afternoon than the evening), or that certain approaches to dementia-related symptoms work better than others (just leaving rather than explaining why you’re leaving).

To gain the most benefits from your journaling, follow these tips:

• Set a timer and keep your pen or your fingers moving.
• Write freely, without worry about spelling or grammar.
• Keep your writing totally confidential, so you can feel free to express all your feelings.
• Write about your deepest emotional thoughts and feelings about caregiving.
• Focus on experiences and thoughts that you haven’t discussed with others.

3. Adapt to Your New Routine

One of the reasons caregivers can struggle in terms of their own health is that the role disrupts their normal lives.

Studies have found that caregivers who adapt—who find ways to live better with their new situation—fare better in terms of their long-term health.

Look at your situation as you might any other stressful situation, like moving or losing a job. Rather than imagining that everything will go back to “normal,” soon, face the reality of what’s happening right now, and find ways to help yourself adapt.

Ask for help, delegate some tasks, get your family involved, and find new ways to relieve personal strain. Join a support group, and use the resources available to you to gain new ideas for solving problems.

Then see if you can find ways to adapt your writing routine. Perhaps there is a better time of day in which you can schedule your regular writing session, or a different place where you can gather your thoughts.

If financial strain is not an issue, perhaps you can hire a virtual assistant to help with some of your marketing tasks. If financial strain is an issue, maybe a Kickstarter or GoFundMe campaign could help. The writings you create for that type of campaign may help others experiencing the same challenges, and may even one day form the basis of a new creative project. After all, writing is one of the best ways to find meaning in any experience.

Write When You’re a Caregiver Tip 4. Find the Positive Moments

According to a survey by the National Opinion Research Center, the majority of caregivers report that their experience is, on the whole, a positive one. Though they admit to experiencing some stress and emotional strain, they also point out the positive moments. In one study, researchers found that caregivers may experience both emotional distress and psychological satisfaction and growth.

Keeping a daily gratitude journal can not only reduce stress and improve sleep, but help boost inner strength in the face of trauma. You may also be able to reduce caregiving by keeping a gratitude journal related specifically to your caregiving.

Each night or morning, take just five minutes to write down five things you’re grateful for as a caregiver. Examples may be that you’re grateful for the time you get to spend with your loved one, for the chance to be of service to him or her, for the special moments you share, or for the fact that you have good friends supporting you.

5. Write a Letter to Yourself Releasing the Guilt

Caregivers naturally tend to feel a lot of guilt. The reasons are numerous.

You may feel guilty for any resentment you may feel, for decisions you made that you now question, or for things you may have said. You may feel guilty for not giving a level of care you imagine is perfect, or feel irritated for having to live up to such expectations.

As time goes on, you may feel you should have done more to make things better for your loved one. If the care recipient becomes upset, you may feel guilty and imagine you caused it. You may wish for some time away, and then feel guilty if you actually take it.

This sort of guilt can be extremely dangerous to your physical and emotional well being, as well as your creativity. That means you have to find ways to release it.

Use Your Writing Skills to Help Yourself

One of the best ways is, again, to use your writing skills, and write a letter to yourself, as if you were writing to another person. In that letter, be sure to tell yourself the following truths:

• Caregiving is difficult for anyone, and you deserve a break.
• There’s no way you can foresee everything that may happen. You can only do your best.
• It’s natural to question yourself, but try to trust your heart and your decisions.
• You don’t know which treatments or therapies are going to help your loved one—ask questions, research the issue, then do your best, and don’t beat yourself up.
• Forgive yourself for those times you lash out or say something you regret, and remind yourself that you always have the best intentions.
• Understand that it’s natural to want stressful, painful periods to be over, and that these feelings don’t mean you don’t love the person you’re caring for.
• Be gentle and patient with yourself.

Write When You’re a Caregiver Tip 6. Get Used to Writing When You Can

Your routine isn’t the same as it used to be, but that doesn’t mean you can’t fit the writing in. Be alert for new spaces in your life, and may hold potential as writing times.

“I’ve written and edited in doctors’ offices,” says Goodrich. “The ICU my husband was in over Christmas one year had a built-in desk in the corner, giving me a place to work. If you can find a family member or friend to relieve you one or two hours a week, take your laptop to the public library or a nearby restaurant.”

You may not feel like writing in the moment. Just pull out your notebook and write anyway. Tell yourself you’ll give it just five minutes. If you can’t get into your current project, write about what’s going on instead. Just five minutes of that can help you feel less stressed, to the point that you may want to spend the rest of the time you have on your project.

Allow your writing to lead you. Maybe your experiences could be put into an article that you later sell to a magazine about caregiving or dementia. Maybe those notes you take in the doctor’s office lead to an idea for a new book.

Stay flexible, and realize that if you relax and allow life to happen, you may find new avenues to pursue as a creative artist. Maybe that novel you were working on before has to go on hold, but that doesn’t mean your whole writing career has to stop.

7. Keep Writing No Matter What

It may be natural to forego your writing in the first few weeks of caregiving, but then it’s important to return to it as soon as you can—not only for the health benefits, but because it’s part of you, and therefore can prove to be the one thing that helps you get through this difficult experience.

“Don’t let guilt rob you of the joy and energy your craft gives you,” says Emme Gannon. “Surrender. Relax. Live out your call. Then write with passion.”

How do you continue writing as a caregiver?

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Sources

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