The Unexpected Key to Persevering in the Writing Life

What is the key to persevering in the writing life?

Successful writers will tell you to just hang in there and keep going. Conference speakers encourage you to never give up. Writing friends remind you that no writing journey is easy, and we all have to get through the difficult times.

But when you’re in the middle of one of those ruts in the road, it can be difficult to see how you’re ever going to get out of it. Is writing really worth it? you may ask yourself. Does any of this matter? Am I wasting my time?

“Despite making good progress on my third novel,” writes fiction author Jennifer Ellis, “riding the rejection route with my other two has been disheartening to say the least. Not that it has been all bad. I have had a nibble and a couple of nice rejection letters. But it has been enough to make me question whether the whole thing is worth it.”

When you get to a place like this, it’s frightening. It’s disheartening. This one thing you’ve been devoted to may not be your “thing” after all. If not, then what?

Does It Matter if You Quit Writing?

There are a lot of reasons why you can end up in a place where you’re not sure if you should persevere. Below are just a few of them:

• You’ve been writing for a long while, and you’re still getting too many rejections, or you’ve failed to reach your goal of publication.
• You’ve been published, but nobody really noticed, and you wonder if it even mattered.
• You’ve tried self-publishing, but you sold only a few copies and you’re questioning the amount of work you put into it.
• You’ve lost your passion for writing, and you wonder if it’s really something you should be doing.

Another possibility is that you realize how many super talented writers there are out there, many of whom you may believe are much more talented than you are. With so much competition, how you can ever stand out?

There are other reasons. You may be suffering because of one of them. And that’s what you really have to address when this happens—your suffering.

Will it matter if you stop writing? Sure, your writing friends may mourn losing you from the ranks. Your family may feel badly for you. Your publisher may express regret. But in the whole scheme of things, does it really matter if you keep writing or not?

Let’s be realistic.

Not really. The only one it’s going to matter to is you.

Persevering in the Writing Life: Take Control of What Writing Means

This may sound depressing at first, but it’s all in how you look at it.

If your writing doesn’t really matter except to you, that means you have complete control over exactly what your writing means in your life, no matter what anyone else says (or doesn’t say) about it.

I went through a period many years ago where I came up against this question of what writing meant in my life. I think we all face it at some point in our careers, usually after we’ve been at it for awhile and we come face-to-face with the reality of the marketplace and the world of publishing as a whole.

We begin to see how difficult it can be. We come up against disappointment. The writing life turns out to be way different than we thought it would be, and we have to make a decision. Keep going, or jump ship?

When I was wrestling with this, I was fortunate enough to come across the wisdom of creativity coach Eric Maisel. If you haven’t read his work, I highly recommend it. He’s one of a kind when it comes to understanding creative individuals.

I was reading one of his many books when something he wrote made me pause. It’s stuck with me ever since. I wasn’t able to find the exact quote for this post, but the essence of the message was that as creative individuals, we can’t expect to find meaning outside of ourselves. In fact, as artists, we are completely responsible for creating our own meaning.

Your writing, you must determine, will mean precisely what you decide it will mean in your life. No matter the outside success. No matter the sales. No matter the accolades, or not. It will mean what you decide it will mean. Period.

Writers Must Determine What Writing Means to Them

So what does your writing mean to you?

Asking yourself this question brings you smack up against your ego. You have to face the fact that you may have—just a little bit—hoped your writing would bring you notoriety, respect, and admiration.

You may have hoped it would give you a way out of your boring job. You may have wanted it to win you a place among those other writers you’ve longed admired.

Asking yourself this question forces you to face the possibility that none of these things may occur. Because if they do happen—if you get that admiration you wanted, for example—then your dreams come true and you don’t have any trouble persevering, right?

We struggle with perseverance when our dreams don’t come true, or when they haven’t yet come true. We struggle when the ego doesn’t get what it wanted. We struggle when we come up against the pure difficulty of the journey and we question our ability to keep going.

This is when we must ask ourselves the question: What does writing really mean to me?

Persevering In the Writing Life: Discouragement Can Be a Gift

In a way, going through a period of discouragement is a gift, as it forces you to face this issue of making meaning with your writing. Until you do that, you’re traveling on shaky ground. It’s the writer who knows exactly what writing means that perseveres no matter what.

Maisel says that creative people are unique when it comes to needing to make meaning with our work:

“…creative people are people who stand in relation to life in a certain way—they see themselves as active meaning-makers rather than as passive folks with no stake in the world and no inner potential to realize. This orientation makes meaning a certain kind of problem for them—if, in their own estimation, they aren’t making sufficient meaning, they get down.”

Maisel helps us understand that this meaning thing is important not only to our writing, but to our overall well being. Understanding this is what helped me get through when I was struggling.

If making meaning with writing is important to my overall health, then doesn’t that cancel out everything else?

Persevering in the Writing Life: How Writing is Like Exercise to the Creative Individual

In thinking about all of this, I’m reminded of exercise. We can pursue exercise for a couple different reasons. Many people stick with their workout routines because of the ego. We want to look good, so we exercise to help keep the pounds off and to stay as young-looking as possible.

But then there’s the other side of the coin—exercise is critical to long-term health and vitality. Science has proven that. So if we want to enjoy long, active lives, we’re wise to make sure we exercise every day.

When we look at it this way, we understand the importance of it. We don’t feel guilty when we go to the gym, or wonder if we should be doing something else with our time. We don’t question the activity simply because we fail to win a marathon or take our community softball team to the championship.

When you realize that finding meaning in your creative life is just as important to your health and well being as daily exercise (or maybe even more so), you see that you have a responsibility to make meaning, however you can. This is up to you. Not to the publishers, the market, the readers, or anyone else. You have to take control of this task.

Says Maisel, “Get in the habit of remembering that we and we alone are in charge of keeping meaning afloat—no one else will do that for us.”

Persevering in the Writing Life: How to Find Meaning In Your Writing Work

So just how do you go about determining what writing means to you, outside of publication, sales, and all the rest?

1. Realize that you must determine what writing means.

The first thing is to realize that meaning does not exist until you make it. This is not something that is “out there.” You have this gift, this desire to write. You must determine what it’s going to mean.

2. Change your definition of success.

Next, decide to reinvent your definition of success. Whereas before it may have been to become a bestselling author or to be published by one of the top five publishers in the nation, now it may be simply to finish that novel you’re working on, self-publish your book to your satisfaction, or simply find a way to fit writing into your busy life.

3. Accept yourself as you are.

Wholeheartedly accept that you are a creative person who needs to make meaning with your work. Realize that this is important to your health and well being—just as important as eating a healthy diet and regularly exercising. This is not something you can change, so embrace it.

4. Find meaning in other ways.

Maisel notes that as creative people who crave meaning, we may need to find additional ways to make it, because writing alone may not be enough.

“Artists may well need more ‘meaning opportunities’ than creating art can afford,” he writes. “They may also need relationships; they may need to be of service; they may need to stand up for a cause; they may need a successful career; and so on. It is unlikely that making art, even if you manage to do it regularly, even if you like what you produce, and as meaningful as that may feel, will provide enough meaning.”

In other words, meaning-maker, don’t put all your meaning eggs in one basket. If you find yourself feeling lonely or isolated, this may be the area you need to address.

5. List those activities you find meaningful.

Take about 30 minutes to think back on your writing life so far. Using your computer or a notepad, write down those experiences that were particularly meaningful to you.

Perhaps it was when you gave a reading, worked with school students, shared your thoughts on a blog post, connected with other writers at a conference or other event, finished your novel, or got a scene just right—whichever ones were meaningful to you, get them down where you can see them and review them.

Drawing your attention to these events helps you determine which ones you want to repeat, and can help you set meaning-based goals for the future.

6. Make the most of your writing talent.

Sometimes we limit ourselves by taking a narrow view of what the writing life means. Personally, I never considered that building an author platform could help open up new ways for me to find meaning with my writing.

Writing blogs and guest posts, speaking at workshops, and writing non-fiction books has helped me fulfill that desire for meaning in ways that writing novels alone never did.

How might you expand your writing activities to bring more meaning-making opportunities into your life? Consider pursuing those that interest you even a little bit. Experiment. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. You may be surprised at how rewarding it can be to branch out into something new.

7. Use your creativity to help others.

Ask yourself: How can I use my talent to help others?

When you find the answer, it’s pretty much a direct path to finding meaning.

Can you mentor other writers? Support their efforts on social media or on your blog? Write an important remembrance for your family? Use your writing to support a cause that matters to you? Brainstorm some ideas, and keep your eye out for opportunities. If you watch for them, they’ll show up.

Meanwhile, consider reading Maisel’s Van Gogh Blues, which has a lot more great information about finding meaning in your work and your life.

How do you find meaning in your writing life?

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Sources

Ellis, J. (n.d.). Writing and Perseverance — Jennifer Ellis – Writing. Retrieved from http://jenniferellis.ca/writing-and-perseverance/

Lukara, A. (n.d.). Eric Maisel on Writing, Meaning and Depression. Retrieved from http://www.transformationalwriters.com/depression-writing-eric-maisel//span>

Maisel, E. (2014, June 6). Meaning Opportunities for Artists. Retrieved from https://ericmaisel.com/2014/06/06/meaning-opportunities-for-artists//span>