I started writing when I was a kid and suffered from self-doubt.
I had teachers and friends who cheered me on, but not so much my family.
I wrote anyway.
The Biggest Challenge of Being a Writer: Trying to Balance It All
Later came marriage and children. I was told repeatedly to give up the writing and get a real career. I wrote whenever I had the opportunity.
For me, the biggest emotional challenge of being a writer became trying to balance it all.
Then I joined a writing group and became even more serious about writing a good book and getting published. Even through a separation and divorce, which definitely was a threat to both my writing and my mental health.
They say writers put bits of themselves into everything they write. Very true for me. I may never tell readers which parts of me are in each book, but I’m in there making a cameo somewhere!
Not Writing Made Me Anxious
My separation helped me to realize I used my writing to maintain my mental health. Not writing made me anxious and heightened my depression. Along with writing, I walked every day I could and got back to yoga and reading encouraging books like Stephen King’s On Writing.
One of the best things I’ve discovered is meditation. I always start off by emptying my mind and letting my thoughts flow. If my thoughts go off into the ditch, I focus on my breathing and clear my mind once more. I find I am able to do better when I have music in the background, which seems to distract some part of my brain so the rest of it can wander without being limited by “real life.”
Sometimes, this is where some of my best ideas come from and I’m able to put things back into perspective because the world doesn’t seem so overwhelming for those 15 or so minutes. I find it refreshing and rejuvenating.
I also use a great meditation podcast to help me clear my head to fall asleep at night. My favorite so far is Sleep Meditation for Women.
When things become too overwhelming, it’s a great idea to talk to close friends who understand the pressures of whatever you’re dealing with or even find a counselor who can help you discover where all those mental blocks and anxieties are coming from.
I Give Myself Little Stars Every Day I Go for a Walk
I tend to get pain right between my shoulder blades from being on my computer for many hours a day either doing my day job or writing. Dry eyes and blurry vision are other side effects of writing and growing older.
Currently, I’m still trying to juggle a day job with writing time and having a bit of a social life. Some days work better than others, but not all days allow me time to take a half hour walk (unless I make it part of the social life) and sometimes eating right takes a back seat since I’m the one who does the cooking!
The meditation works great for helping my mental state and sometimes, I even do a walking meditation or get out into the garden. Not that I’ve put a lot of effort into making a beautiful yard, but I do look after the weeds which gets me outside.
Before the lockdowns we’ve had in Ontario, I started doing yoga after work two days a week. The studio was on my way home, so it was convenient. Doing yoga online didn’t offer me the same release for a while and I stopped doing it. Stopped looking after myself.
Now that all of this seems “normal,” I’ve started doing online classes once a week and insist I will get up and do some stretching every morning. Unfortunately, I have this habit of two cups of coffee, the morning news, and waking up to defeat first!
I have started to give myself little stars on my calendar every day that I go for a walk. It’s kind of an Inner Child thing, but it keeps me accountable for how many stars I get each week. I’m in week 2. Wish me luck!
What Can Ruin Creativity for Me is Negativity
Staying positive and writing for ME not an audience [helps me stay creative].
I journal and try to keep an open mind and let ideas flow. Whether they’re ideas that ever make it into a story or just “venting” ideas that I forget after I write them down. In fact, I’ve been known to write ideas on just about anything, sales receipts, napkins, on the backs of other manuscripts. I keep a supply of notebooks and scrap paper handy.
I’ve also learned that I don’t need a certain location to write in. I’ve written in waiting rooms at the doctor, dentist, and karate school, while cooking dinner (which I don’t recommend!), in coffee shops, in writing groups, while having my lunch at work… The list goes on. Pretty much any time I have 5 or more minutes to myself, I make notes or write scenes.
What can ruin that creativity for me is negativity. Not always my own. When you have people tell you to give up, sometimes it only makes you try harder to prove them wrong. Sometimes it can create a block and you feel like you’ll never write anything again.
For me, writing is as natural as breathing and the longer I go without being creative, the worse I feel. Sometimes the only way to release those blocks is by actually sitting down and writing out the frustration.
Writing is My Sanity
Writing is my sanity! It’s helped me through some rough times in my life.
Whether I’m writing a book or just writing in a journal to clear my head, it’s like breathing for me. I can’t not write. It’s unnatural.
I don’t write to market or to make anyone else happy. My writing comes from love and passion. As long as I enjoy what I’m doing, I’ll continue. The day it becomes “work” is the day I put down my pen.
For Book Marketing, Podcasts are Huge Right Now
I had a difficult time with marketing and stuck with mostly local writing events for years. I didn’t have the time or resources to travel to conferences or hire a publicist.
I’ve been fortunate during Covid in particular to meet other authors and spend time listening to podcasts and lectures to expand my skills. I’ve joined several groups such as Crime Writers of Canada, Sisters in Crime, International Thriller Writers, and the Writers Union of Canada. These types of groups help you get your name and information out to other authors and offer resources on marketing, writing, and just how to stay connected in a world that’s driven us all apart.
I’ve jumped at spots on other author’s blogs and dove in to doing seminars for some of these groups to step out of my comfort zone and become used to speaking to others.
Podcasts are a huge thing right now. I’ve made appearances on several done by people I’ve met through these groups as well as on Facebook, which is a great resource as well.
I’ve had my own blog for many years, but I struggled to figure out how to fill the page sometimes when life is hectic. My solution was to offer other authors a day to promote their books. I went from one day a week in September 2019, to currently offering three days a week thanks to a boost from a publicist. The more they promote their authors, they promote my blog and my name as well.
In turn, I was able to get a friend who does podcasts more authors to interview. Helping others is a great way to get promotions for any writer!
I Can Get Overwhelmed with the “Should-dos” and Forget to Just Breathe
The pace of my life is much slower than it was in the past.
I started writing with three boys underfoot and now have an empty nest – aside from two cats. I’ve been working from home and, since I work in the box office of a professional theatre, things have been less hectic than usual and I’m working from home.
Some days while the phones are quiet, I can do a little editing, a little writing, and I’ve even written a play and am working on a second one. Motivation…sometimes that’s a problem. I can get overwhelmed with the “should-dos” and forget to just breathe and let things flow.
The problem with leading an online life, is it’s too easy to fall into joining classes, listening to lectures, and focusing on learning about writing rather than actually writing.
The marketing things can get in the way of writing as well. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been sucked down the rabbit hole of social media!
One of the other problems I find is that I can just keep working for hours on end and forget about taking breaks or giving myself time to rest. I’m bad for eating lunch at my desk at home where I never did it in the office – whether I’m working or writing. I need to become better at scheduling breaks in my day and not feel guilty about it!
Advice for a Young Writer: Don’t Just Write About Life, Live It!
Don’t just write about life – live it! Then you’ll have something to write about.
Hold real jobs, learn things first hand, takes notes, and talk to people not just other authors. One of my favorite quotes comes from Natalie Goldberg in Writing Down the Bones: “Writers live twice. They go along with their regular life, are as fast as anyone in the grocery store, crossing the street, getting dressed for work in the morning. But there’s another part of them they have been training. The one that lives everything a second time. That sits down and sees their life again and goes over it. Looks at the texture and details.”
I met an award-winning author once who proclaimed he’d never worked a regular job in his life and wrote when the muse struck him. Seriously, he’d never held a real job and would have no idea where to start if he did. At that time, I was juggling 3 kids, a job, and writing. My writing times were crammed into lunch breaks and when the kids went to bed. I have to admit, I was jealous of all his free time, but would never have traded the craziness of my life for his. Not even for one day.
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Diane Bator is the author of several mystery novels and a budding playwright. She’s a member of several mystery and writing groups and when she’s not writing, she works in a small, professional theatre which will one day be subjected to immortality in a whole new series.
For more information on Diane and her work, please see her website and blog, or connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can find her books at Books We Love.
Glitter Bay Mystery Series
Vintage Sage was a peaceful, one woman operation until Sage Miller’s sister Laken moved to Glitter Bay. Now they feature gently loved items with a side of mystery.
Book 1: All That Sparkles:
What do a trunk full of vintage clothes, a handsome land developer, and a fifty year old diamond heist have in common?
Laken Miller receives a trunk full of expensive vintage clothing and a stack of newspaper clippings about a fifty-year old diamond heist.
Now all she has to do is figure out who murdered Tilly San Vicente before the killer silences her as well.
Available at Amazon and Amazon.ca.
Book 2: All That Shines:
Sage Miller is knee deep in fashion designers—whether she wants them in her new vintage boutique or not.
One winds up dead.
Another isn’t what he seems.
A third is treasure hunting.
Sage is stuck in the middle trying to solve a murder before the grand opening of Vintage Sage, which involves a fashion show she’d rather not be part of.
Available at Amazon.