For me, the biggest emotional challenges of being a writer have been self-doubt and frustration.
It’s been a long journey – 20 years, to be precise – from when I first began writing The Wayward Spy to its publication. The years were marked with near successes, gutting disappointments, and uncertainty about whether this book belonged anywhere but in the trash.
Throughout, my emotions have run the gamut from disappointment, to fear of failure, fear of success, and I’m-not-good-enough-ism.
Quitting Was All I Could Think to Do at the Time
Add to that all the competing demands that come with working full-time and raising a family. For many years, instead of trying to fit writing into my busy life, I quit writing. Sort of.
I still went to writer’s conferences every now and then. I rewrote The Wayward Spy (multiple times). I wrote a sequel. I tried again to get published. I read books on writing. So, I suppose I never truly gave up. Deep down, I knew, as one fancy literary agent told me long ago, that this book “belongs on the shelf” with other thrillers.
Quitting isn’t a coping mechanism I’d necessarily recommend to fellow writers (although there is a time and place for taking extended breaks when needed – particularly when you have young children). But it was all I could think to do at the time.
I Was Tired of Calling Myself an “Aspiring” Writer
Then, in 2015, I went to a writer’s seminar where I met people who took interest in my story. One, a fellow thriller writer name Brian Drake, urged me to let Elaine Ash, an author and a freelance editor, read my manuscript. It took them until 2017 to convince me to send the story to Elaine.
Soon after, we began working together to tighten and polish the manuscript, and two years later, she helped me secure a literary agent.
So, what changed for me in 2017? Well, I decided this was it – my final attempt at getting published. I was busier than ever with my day job but I was tired of calling myself an “aspiring” author. It was time to commit.
I soon found that the more I worked on the book, the more energized I felt.
Several months into the rewrite, I joined a gym, something I’d always felt too busy to do. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I tried every kind of workout – spin, Zumba, strength, step aerobics, you name it. No matter the type of workout, I found that working up a good sweat helped relieve my stress.
And the less stressed I felt, the better I was able to focus on writing.
With the support of my family, Elaine’s enthusiasm for my story, and an overall feeling of physical well-being, I felt good about writing for the first time in years.
Feeling Better and Stronger Allows Me to Write for Long Periods
The biggest physical challenge of being a writer is that it’s nearly impossible to be active while writing. My imagination may be going 100 mph, but my body sure isn’t.
When I’m in the zone, when scenes are flowing, the last thing I want to do is take a break for a walk. And when I get stuck or frustrated, I often reach for a snack. Or two. Carbs. Sugar. Preferably both (chocolate-covered pretzels anyone?). The combination of binge-snacking and a sedentary state aren’t good!
I think I’m in good company when I confess that the 2020 pandemic resulted in weight gain and fitness loss. This wellness decline wasn’t directly related to writing, but feeling like a sloth didn’t help my motivation or energy levels. Unfortunately, my gym closed permanently because of the pandemic. I didn’t want to lose the strength, stamina, or stress-relief I had gained in the previous two years, so I joined another gym last fall.
Because of the training regimen there, I am physically stronger than I’ve ever been. I didn’t have a choice but to learn how to lift weights using barbells, kettlebells, and other instruments of torture…I mean fitness. And once a week, I go to a Zumba class to round out my regimen with some serious cardio and fun.
The strength I’ve gained has improved my metabolism and virtually eliminated the everyday aches and pains I had started to develop. I have old sports injuries that will always flare up from time to time, but I no longer have the sore back and achy knees that were a result of weak muscles and inactivity. Feeling better and stronger allows me to write for long periods of time without having to struggle to get out of the chair when I finally close the laptop.
My Creativity is Ruined by Interruptions
I feel more creative when I have a big window of time to write. It can take me a while to slip into my fictional world, so knowing that I have lots of time helps me relax and get into the story.
My creativity is ruined by interruptions, whether it’s from people or surrounding noise. If I can’t find a place of absolute quiet, I put in headphones and listen to the sound of ocean waves or to monks singing Gregorian chants.
Silencing the outside world is absolutely essential to finding my creative groove.
When I’m Writing, Hours Pass Like Seconds
I keep writing because it’s what I do best. I believe in God-given talents, and as far as I can tell, writing is mine.
To be clear, saying I have a God-given talent doesn’t mean I think I’m destined to be the world’s greatest writer. It simply means that I’m supposed to write. It’s the only thing I do where there is no sense of time.
When I’m writing, hours pass like seconds. I love that surreal feeling.
Book Marketing Tactics That Have Worked for Me
It’s a little early to quantify what my most successful marketing tactics have been since my book just came out in March. My publisher (CamCat Publishing) has done a great deal of work to bring attention to The Wayward Spy.
The novel was listed in Publishers Weekly’s winter/spring 2021 “Grab a Galley” books, a list directed at book buyers. Publishers Weekly also gave The Wayward Spy a great review, which almost certainly will help with sales.
CamCat advises its authors to maintain a social media presence, but perhaps more importantly, to blog consistently. Search engines don’t pull from social media sites, so if I want my books to be discovered via an internet search, I have to be an active blogger.
It’s fun to Google myself and find that nearly all the results are about The Wayward Spy. I also have done outreach (along with CamCat) to library systems and independent bookstores and have done interviews with local newspapers and magazines. There are a few marketing opportunities pending, including my upcoming appearance on the Washington, D.C. Public Library’s “Mystery May” podcast.
Fitting Writing Into My Life: It’s a Bit of a Struggle
All of my writing and blogging is done on nights and weekends.
My full-time job is with a government consulting firm, where I lead the company’s competitive intelligence and executive search research team. There is no such thing as a 40-hour work week with this job, so I try to be disciplined about not letting the day-job cut into the time I need for writing.
Honestly, it’s a bit of a struggle.
Advice for a Young Writer: Don’t Be Afraid to Write Junk
- Read, read, read. The best way to understand how to write compelling stories is to immerse yourself in all kinds of books. In so doing, you will absorb what works, what keeps you turning the page, what moves you, and what bores you.
- Books about the craft of writing can be helpful for the beginner, but if you are too focused on the “how to write” aspect, you may never begin writing. Don’t be so focused on technique that you lose your creativity. Start writing!
- Don’t be afraid of writing junk. That’s what first drafts are. Just get the words on paper. There will be plenty of time (and sweat and tears) to edit and rewrite.
- Let other people read your writing. Find a group of writers (in person or online) where honest and constructive criticism is the rule and not the exception.
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Susan Ouellette was born and raised in the suburbs of Boston, where she studied international relations and Russian as both an undergraduate and graduate student. Thus well prepared for a career in intelligence as the post-Cold War world order began to emerge, Susan moved to Washington, D.C. to work as a CIA intelligence analyst.
Subsequently, Susan worked on Capitol Hill as a professional staff member for the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence (HPSCI). She also played an integral role in a study about the future of the post-Cold War intelligence community. Since her stint on Capitol Hill, she has worked for several federal consulting firms.
Susan lives wither her family on a farm outside of Washington, D.C. where she helps tend to chickens, turkeys and too many honey bees to count. For more information on Susan and her work, please see her website, or connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Goodreads, and YouTube.
The Wayward Spy: When her fiancé, a CIA operative accused of treason, is killed overseas, intelligence analyst Maggie Jenkins smells cover-up and sets out to clear his name.
Maggie disobeys direct orders and travels to Tbilisi, Georgia, to follow a trail littered with secrets and lies, corruption and deceit, risking her own life to expose the terrorist threat at the intersection where the Russian Mafia, Chechen rebels, Al Qaeda and … US government officials meet.
From the halls of power in Washington, D. C. to the political chaos of the former Soviet Union, Maggie must confront players from the intelligence, political, and criminal worlds who will do anything to stop her. How far will Maggie go to uncover the truth?
Available at CamCat Publishing, Amazon, and wherever books are sold.