Featured Writer on Wellness: Tavi Taylor Black

As is so common with writers, there were years and years of work with barely any acknowledgment, interspersed with plenty of self-doubt.

Writing is such a lonely pursuit, which is why when you finally get writers together at a conference, we are all practically panting with excitement to be around hundreds of people who share the same passion and focus.

So many times, we wonder why we are continuing day after day, writing words on paper or screen, on envelopes or napkins. Anywhere we can scratch down a thought. Because the rejection is real and it hurts. Sometimes it’s just a little puncture, but any “no” smarts.

When I’m Querying, I Steel Myself to Rejection

When I’m querying—which is often as I usually have another project in the pipeline—I steel myself to each day by sitting on the edge of my bed and asking, “Okay, how many rejections do you have for me today, world?”

And it’s almost like I get a strange hit of satisfaction when I see the first one pop up in my email. I feel justified in being the tiniest bit jaded.

Every time I see an email flash on my phone that has the word “query” in it, I prepare myself for a rejection. I tell myself it will be a “no” and it usually is.

And then, every once in a great while, every twentieth or even fiftieth email, it will be a “yes” and honestly, it is the most wonderful feeling in the world. Elation. There isn’t much in the world that feels better, so I keep pursuing that “yes.”

My Answer to Writing Rejections: Yoga

The answer to containing all of that steely resolve has, for me, been yoga.

I did Hatha for fifteen or so years before coming to Kundalini, which is such an interior practice—it brings you completely into yourself. There is so much breath work, so much meditation that it burns away everything that is not essential to who you are.

For me, Kundalini is both an energizing and a quieting practice. Of course, you have to find the right teacher that suits your needs, and I was lucky that way. Especially since it has been revealed that the man who brought Kundalini to the US was a sexual predator. I have friends who stopped practicing when this came to light.

Honestly, I wasn’t surprised when I found out. He was never my “guru.” I guess I always expect that when a man has that kind of power, he will abuse it. If you read my books, you will discover that this sort of trauma is often a thematic undercurrent in my work.

My yoga instructor uses the mantras and mudras of Kundalini, but the practice is her own, not tied to the strange rules and misogynistic dharma of that tribe. What we do works for us, and it is wrapped in neutrality and peace.

Part of that practice has been cold showers in the mornings (also known as Ishnaan). I’ve fallen out of them a bit, but there’s a whole ritual of dry brushing, almond and avocado oil application, squats, then cold showers. I never thought I’d be someone to try this, but there is something about being able to put yourself through that first thing in the morning.

I tell myself, if I can take a cold shower, I can do anything. It really does invigorate you. It does wonders for your circulation.

Quarantine Has Made My Writing Routine More Flexible

I’m a pretty active person, so the sedentary nature of writing remains a challenge for me. At one point, I even added a platform to an elliptical trainer for my laptop, but that wasn’t the most conducive way to write. My wrists were never at the right angle.

With a young daughter homeschooling throughout Covid-times, I have struggled to choose whether to use my early morning hours to write or to exercise (or to shower!) I had to shift my routine, so now I usually exercise before my husband leaves for the day. As a result, I’ve been trying to be more flexible about my writing time.

Pre-covid, I wrote early mornings, but I find it hard to sit down at my computer mid-day. For the middle-grade series I’m working on, I switched from writing on the laptop to drafting longhand in a notebook. This made it more portable, so I could move around outdoors while my daughter was online in school. I would sit down and write a few lines, get up and weed a little bit, sit down again. I think quarantine has made us all a little bit more flexible.

Eating healthy, well, that’s always something to keep an eye to. Mainly because when you’re busy, it’s easy to eat pre-packaged and processed. Even though I love cooking, I most definitely get tired of coming up with something fresh and wholesome every single day. I let way too many vegetables go bad in my crisper.

I like to do a cleanse every now and then or even just a few weeks of no sugar, no bread, that kind of thing. Just to reset my system because, unfettered, I can go crazy on the wine and chocolate.

It’s Important to Find Where Your Talent Lies

For the longest time, I didn’t want to write about being on the road [with music groups].

I was so sick of that life.

But I’ve since found that my resistance wasn’t necessarily about touring in particular (though it was a very difficult life.) Now, when I think about touring and the people I knew in those days, it is with a lot of warmth and genuine affection.

My struggle was likely due to the fact that writing about current circumstances is difficult, at least for me. I find better results in stepping back, getting some perspective.

Having that distance, I realize the music affected me deeply, the rhythms, the artistry of those I toured with impacted my own work. Not only in theme and setting, but in aspiring to their quality of work.

When you watch an artist—someone who can pack houses—the musicianship is real. People don’t usually get to that level without a combination of talent and incredibly hard work. I was a musician when I was younger and was never very good.

I think it’s as important to admit when you are not good at something as it is to find where your talent lies. If you love something, by all means pursue it, but also accept when you are better off spending your energies elsewhere.

Friends Always Help Me Keep My Troubles in Perspective

Having a regular writing practice (even if it’s not at the same time every day) keeps me connected to creative inspiration.

I suppose stress is the great creativity killer, so it is important to keep stress at a minimum. Life will always throw up obstacles, so having methods to mount those hurdles is essential.

For me, running or walking with friends does the trick. Friends always help me keep my troubles in perspective.

Even If You Can Do Something Else, the Wins in Writing are Worth It

I have wondered why [I keep writing] many times. Especially when bombarded by “no’s.”

But I don’t really have a choice about pursuing art. I would never be satisfied without some sort of contemplation, be it through painting or writing—my two most tangible methods of trying to make some sense of the world.

I was in a class once with a writer named Bill Lychek—a fabulous writer—who said, “if you have a choice, and can do something else, do it. Writing is hard.” He looked so desperate when he said it, so despairing.

I felt his pain, and in some sense, I think he was right. There’s so much self-doubt along the way, but he was also wrong. Even if you can do something else, the wins are worth it.

The Best Book Marketing Things I’ve Done

Ha! I have no idea [what book marketing technique is best] as I have yet to receive a royalty statement. Time will tell if I’ve been successful.

I’ve been trying it all. It’s been a lot of work to build a “platform” from scratch. I had virtually no social media presence until last year. It’s trial by error.

The best things I’ve done are a Goodreads giveaway and hired By The Book VBP (on Instagram).

I realized quickly that Twitter was not for me and that Instagram was a better fit. I started out asking several other authors what they had done, which was helpful.

I think book contests are important and I’ve heard Bookbub is great, though I haven’t tried that yet. I’m basically hitting all the bases with book store readings, book reviews and a few ads in trade publications. We shall see what works. A great resource for me was Beth Jusino’s Author’s Guide to Marketing.

Fitting Writing Into My Busy Life

I’ve always worn a lot of hats.

Right now, marketing my book and homeschooling my daughter is my day job. I’m hoping that will change in the coming school year.

I also do the books for my husband’s business and do some volunteer work. I’ve done a lot of non-profit work in the past.

At the moment, I’m applying for jobs, as I lost my tour manager position with the pandemic. I feel like I’ve been piecing it together for most of my life, so I’m pretty adaptable to new circumstances.

I may work with bands again someday, but right now that’s not looking feasible.

Advice for a Young Writer: Don’t Let Anyone Discourage You

Well, I wouldn’t tell them to figure out how to do something else (sorry Bill!) I would actually tell them just the opposite.

I would say don’t let anyone discourage you if you really want to pursue your art. I feel like I lost a lot of years after a couple of people told me not to bother writing. I believed them for many years and I stopped. Luckily, that voice kept speaking to me, telling me that what I had to say was valuable.

So that is my message. Your voice matters and is individual and is worth working on. Writing does take work. Lots of it. But with time and practice, you will improve. You will. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

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Tavi Taylor Black lives on an island near Seattle where she designs sets for the Vashon Dance Academy and was the founding director of the Dove Project, an anti-domestic violence non-profit organization. Before earning an MFA from Lesley University, Tavi spent 14 years touring with rock bands.

She has a new writing podcast, The Personal Element, with co-host Christine Junge which will be launching in the fall of 2021.Where Are We Tomorrow? was a finalist and winner of several medals, including the 2021 Next Generation Indie Awards. Look for Tavi’s upcoming novel with TouchPoint Press, historical fiction set on an estate in Maine in 1913.

For more information on Tavi and her work, please see her website and connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, and Goodreads.

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Where Are We Tomorrow? Alex Evans, a thirty-six year old rock ‘n’ roll touring electrician, discovers through an accidental pregnancy and then the pain of miscarriage that she truly wants a family. But to attempt another pregnancy, she’ll have to change both her career and her relationship; her partner Connor, ten years her senior, isn’t prepared to become a father again.​