Featured Writer on Wellness: K. L. Murphy

I have a thick skin.

Having a large family can give you that!

That doesn’t mean I don’t get upset. I do. I’m crushed every time I get a rejection but…I give myself a very short grace period to be hurt, and then I do the proverbial “get up and dust myself off” thing.

I try again, or I take a new approach, or I take a break and start something else.

How I Manage Writing Rejections

I have also had the benefit of life distractions. Kids. Parents. Health. All the things that make a rejection letter feel a tiny bit smaller and help me to keep the emotions in check.

I am also fortunate to have a support group. That support group can be big or small (can be family or friends or fellow writers or all of the above), but I do recommend having one.

Writing is solitary enough. If nothing else, other writers will understand. We have ALL been there.

I Can’t Hear My Family When I’m In the Writing Zone

The biggest physical challenge is making myself move around when I get caught up in a story or editing.

My family makes jokes that I can’t hear them when I get “in the zone”, and they’re right.

Also, when that happens, time slips by, and I still haven’t exercised. Or started dinner. Or finished the laundry.

Sigh. This happens way more often than it should.

I’ve Come to Need My Daily Dog Walks

I love when I read about a writer who describes his or her routine. Maybe it’s writing for four hours in the morning, followed by a long walk, and then a few hours of marketing. That sounds great.

But…real life. I do walk almost every day. This is not because I am amazingly disciplined so much as that I have two dogs and they need to be walked. However, I have come to need them, too.

One, I love walking the dogs. Two, walks let me clear my head. Sometimes I use them to work through a plotline or plan out a twist. Other times, I listen to an audiobook or a podcast.

As for equipment, I go through spurts of consistency. A few weeks on, a few weeks off. As I said earlier, I’m hardly the best example. Lots of room for improvement here!

You Can’t Fix No Pages

I haven’t had a shortage of ideas yet, but there are times when the words don’t come as easily as other times.

In those instances, I push through.

In Harlan Coben’s 5 Writing Tips, he said, “You can always fix bad pages. You can’t fix no pages.”

I live that advice.

The Opportunity to Write Is a Gift

I was older when I started taking writing seriously.

I had an interest in writing when I was younger and dabbled, but I let it go. That may be why I love it so much now and can’t imagine a time when I no longer write.

I consider the opportunity to put my stories down on the page a gift.

Three Marketing Tactics That Have Worked for Me

I think the most important thing to know about marketing is that it needs to be done but figuring out what works best is like chasing rainbows.

The two things that have worked for me are at opposite ends of the spectrum and may not work in the same way today or for everyone.

The first thing that helped me boost sales was reaching out to other writers and helping them get exposure. This was many years ago when everyone wasn’t on Instagram and Twitter and other sites. Readers had fewer places to find their favorite authors, so it was easier to drive traffic to my blog then.

Although it wasn’t actually what I intended, I picked up readers by promoting other authors.

The second and most successful marketing tactic was my publisher securing a Bookbub ad. I do believe that is still the best way to reach a wide range of readers, but it can be costly, and is often a short-lived spike in sales.

A final thought on marketing is that if you can, attend conferences and seminars. Sit on a panel. Talk to readers and other writers. Join a writing group. Be supportive always.

These actions may not translate directly into sales, but writing is a long-run game, and you will make friends and expand your understanding of the industry.

My Tip for Fitting Writing Into Your Busy Life

The advice sounds cliché (which it is), but the only thing that works is to make yourself sit down and write.

Some authors recommend writing a little every day. I see the benefit in that, but I rarely write seven days a week. Something always comes up, and I like to spend time with the family on the weekends.

I might have critique group or watch a webinar on a Saturday, but writing all day, every day, is not healthy for my life. Other obligations and commitments always interrupt writing time, so I try to make the most of whatever hours I get.

As an FYI, one thing that helps is that I’ve learned to write faster.

Advice for a Young Writer: Go For It

The gut answer is to say go for it, especially if being a writer or artist makes you happy. You’re young, right?

The more complicated answer is go for it, but…it may be necessary to pursue your dream as a side job first.

I have a friend who loved playing the guitar. He was amazingly talented and very well-known in local music circles. He played his whole life in bands up until he died.

But he pursued other jobs, too. He was a publisher, a teacher, a nonprofit executive. He didn’t care about “making it big” in music. He cared about playing because he loved it.

So, my advice is, if you can make a career of it, that’s wonderful, but if you can’t, that doesn’t mean you should stop being a writer or artist. It doesn’t have to be an either or choice. There’s no reason you can’t be both.

Make Wellness a Priority

With all that being said, I do believe it’s important to make wellness a priority—mental and physical. For me, that is staying in touch with those I care about, spending time with my family (and my dogs), and making at least some effort to get a little exercise.

Another big part of maintaining my mental wellness is actually doing the writing. It makes me happy.

In 2022, I hope to be more consistent about getting in my wordcount and increasing the frequency of exercise. But…I won’t beat myself up if things don’t always go according to plan. Just like dealing with rejection, I will shake it off and keep going.

It’s not a perfect balance, but it is mine.

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K.L. Murphy is the author of the Detective Cancini Mystery Series: A Guilty Mind, Stay of Execution, and The Last Sin as well as the upcoming suspense, Her Sister’s Death (late 2022). Her short stories are featured in Deadly Southern Charm and Murder by the Glass.

A member of Mystery Writers of America, International Thriller Writers, Sisters in Crime, and James River Writers, she lives in Richmond, VA, with her husband, children, and amazing dogs.

When she’s not writing, she loves to vacation at the beach, read, entertain friends, catch up on everything she ignored, and always—walk the dogs.

For more about K. L. and her work, please see her website and connect with her on Twitter and Instagram.

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