Easily, the biggest emotional challenge of being a writer is the rejection.
No one likes rejection, no matter the circumstance, but with creative arts such as writing, it is unavoidable and painfully frequent.
It’s Hard Not to Take Rejections Personally
Since falling back in to writing in 2014, I’ve queried multiple (10+) projects totally thousands of queries.
Some ended in full requests, even one offer of representation and a couple offers of publication. But most of all, it was a barrage of rejection.
At first, it is impossible not to take it personal. Your writing is a part of you, so even though agents are focusing on your work, you can’t help feel intrinsically tied to it as an individual.
Over time, I promise, it gets easier. Now, I don’t even bat an eye at rejections (although rejections on full requests you can’t help but get hopeful for still sting) and know that I’m not the only one feeling this way.
It is part of the process, so be prepared for it mentally and emotionally before you even jump in to the query trenches.
Having Strong Support Groups Helps
I think the biggest coping mechanism is the commiseration with other querying writers.
While it doesn’t lessen the sting or change the outcome, having strong support groups of individuals going through the same thing can help you rationalize and manage the impact and expectation of the process.
If you feel defeated and that your productivity is impacted, that is totally normal. Take a break!
Publishing is a marathon, not a sprint. Read, watch movies, TV…consume other media to replenish your creative well.
I’m a Creature of Habit When It Comes to Creativity
Despite writing being a sedentary, solitary practice, it is still physical. Especially if your day job is also sedentary.
I am the worst example of proper body mechanics and ergonomics when it comes to writing….I typically lay in my bed, mostly horizontal, with my computer on my bent knees.
I alternate this with sitting cross-legged on my bed, as the aches set in. I do have a fabulous desk area my husband made for me when I got my first book deal, but I typically use it for school or editing, and rarely for first drafts.
I am a creature of habit, and its hard to bring the creativity that I associate with my bedroom down to my desk.
Writers—Listen to Your Body!
When the aches set in, don’t push yourself through it.
I’m a nurse by day, and I promise you, it will gravely impact your long-term progress with writing, and life if you don’t listen to your body.
If your wrists ache, try a cushion support, or take micro-breaks every 30 minutes or so. Sometimes, let that word goal for the day go, and walk away from the keyboard when your body is screaming at you.
The biggest investment is a comfortable chair, and being cognizant of your body positions as you write. Keeping your screen at eye level will make a huge difference with neck pain!
Marketing Is the Hardest Part of the Publishing Journey
Marketing is probably the hardest part of the publishing journey I’ve found so far. Some people excel at it…I am not one of those people.
Word of mouth tends to be a huge impact on sales and attention to your book, but that starts with cultivating authentic relationships within the community. Get yourself a strong writing support group, and they can help even beyond the writing process itself.
Get in touch with companies such as Storygram Tours and the like…they have large social media followings and can offer various packages to help promote your work.
Network with bloggers such as Pop Goes the Reader, or even your favorites from Twitter, Instagram and Tiktok.
Social media is the new way of the marketing landscape, and if you aren’t proficient that is fine! Connect with those who are, and work together to gain attention for your work.
Balancing Writing with Your Day Job(s)
It’s safe to say most of us (if not all of us) have day jobs outside of writing.
As a nurse, I already put in 8-12 hr days before even sitting down at the keyboard to write. Not to mention I’m currently in graduate school, have one book coming out in June, another coming out next year needing edits, a second job, health issues, and a myriad of other demands.
Life is rough, and can pull us away from our passion if we let it.
The biggest thing I discovered when it came to getting words on the page is to set out a time every day that is mine. For me, this is usually from 6pm-7 or 8pm while my husband watches the news.
During this time, I lock myself away and write. I don’t stress about the quality of the words, I just get them down, and worry about the rest later.
Leading up to this writing time, I let my mind wander to what I plan to write during that period. I outline all my work, breaking it down by chapter, so I know before I even start the general arc and what will happen in each chapter.
I let the scenes build, the lines of dialogue or description form, so when I finally do sit down to write, that building is already done.
How I Landed a Traditional Publisher
After years of chasing after an agent, thinking that was the only way onto the shelf, I seriously considered giving up. It’s hard not to, so don’t be too hard on yourself if you consider it more than once.
But a friend of mine encouraged me to focus on small publishers, and had recently submitted to my publisher and loved the experience she had with them so far. I decided to give it a chance and submitted my most recent ms. Within a week, they were offering, and I couldn’t be happier with my decision.
Not all writers or books are meant to take the “big 5” route, and that is okay. Small press is just as valuable a path, and in many cases, can offer things bigger publishers cannot.
More close knit connections with the team, more personalized support, and other things are things I have noticed. Many of the writers in my 2023 debut group are with big 5 publishers, and in some cases it only solidifies that my choice with my publisher was the right one for me.
Everyone’s path is different, and no one has the “right” option. Consider what you want to achieve and work towards it, but be willing to revise your plan if other opportunities arise.
Advice for a Young Writer: Don’t Be Scared to Start Writing
Do it! It is an incredible experience to be a writer, to create worlds and characters that people fall in love with.
Don’t be scared to start writing…just get words on the page. Like anything else, writing is a skill and takes practice and work. You won’t be a NYT Bestseller with your first draft of your first book (or at least most people aren’t) so be prepared to learn the ropes and put in that work, because it will be worth it!
Invest in resources, listen to podcasts and read blogs on things like show vs tell, character arcs and all the details that polish your work to stand out.
But most importantly, don’t give up. Create the path that works for you.
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Kristi McManus is a Registered Nurse by trade, but avid reader and enthusiastic book lover all her life. Her debut novel, Our Vengeful Souls, will be released Summer 2023 by CamCat Books.
When she isn’t writing, she enjoys photography, art, and considers napping to be a form of cardio. She lives in Toronto with her husband. Find more about Kristi and her work at her website and connect with her on Twitter and Instagram.
Our Vengeful Souls: It all started with a curse.
When magical mermaid Sereia saves her little sister and overshadows brother and the sea’s rightful heir, Triton, the position of next ruler of the sea is in question. Determined to keep his throne, Triton curses Sereia, transforming her into a human and stripping her of magic. Banishing her from their underwater kingdom, he gives her a final warning: if you should ever return, you will become a monster.
Left for dead, Sereia washes up on the shores of Atlantis, where she is discovered by a kind merchant with a tragic past. Patient and charming, he helps her build a life on land; she realizes everything she was taught about humans may have been wrong. But legends are powerful forces, and mermaids are burned alive for their magic by humans who fear their power. Sereia is forced to keep her true identity a secret, even as her feelings for her savior deepen.
Channeling her skill with a blade, she finds a place within the ranks of the Atlantean army, finally giving her the chance to become the respected warrior she always desired. During her training, however, she discovers the legend that a trident of equal power to her father’s exists and is within her grasp in Atlantis. With a way back to the sea in her grasp, she wavers between the pull of revenge and the possibility of love on land, all under the hateful eye of a vengeful enemy within the army’s ranks. But when the fate of a friend is in the balance, she must make the hardest decision of all: be burned at the stake as a witch, or turn into a monster should she return to the sea.
Available at Amazon and wherever books are sold.