The biggest challenge I face as a writer is that I’m not a writer.
Let me unpack that.
I’m a Writer, In the Sense That I Write
I am a writer, in the sense that I write. A lot. I must be a masochist.
I love “having written,” but the process of writing is about as enjoyable as the process of childbirth. I know plenty of people who love the process of writing, so I know it’s possible. And I don’t hate it when it’s going well, it’s not my why.
So, why do I write if I don’t love it?
Why Do I Write If I Don’t Love It?
Stories rattle around in my head and pester me until I let them out. Certainly, no one else is going to do it.
Stories are how I explore questions about life and purpose, how I come to terms with troubles and challenges, how I comment on the world around us. They are also how I connect with others who may be on similar journeys.
Connection is key. To me, a story without a reader (or listener or viewer) is only half done. I like to compare it to an electrical circuit. The light doesn’t go on until the circuit is closed. Hopefully the light goes on for both of us.
What form a story takes – novel, short story, song, play, film – is driven by the story itself. I just try to comply with the shape they want to take. They can be very bossy and sometimes have expensive tastes. Screenwriting school isn’t cheap, but this one story absolutely refused to be a play. It didn’t end up being a movie either, but I’m trying to convince it to be a novel.
You Have to “Just Start”
How does one cope with all the writing when one is not a writer?
The strategy that has worked the best for me is what I call “JUST START.” I even made a bracelet with those words on it.
It’s so easy to get overwhelmed by the vast mountain of work that needs to be done on a project that you end up frozen. I’ve gone weeks and weeks without even opening the manuscript file because I knew the weight of all that not done work would tumble out and crush me.
It’s not just writing. It’s everything. I’ve let bills pile up and gone far too long between checkups. The trick of JUST START is not only to give yourself permission to do only one tiny task, but to view doing that one task as a genuine accomplishment worthy of a high five.
The Magic of the Minimum Viable Action (MVA)
For any project I’m struggling with, I decide what is my daily Minimum Viable Action (MVA).
It could be “open one envelope” or “open the file, read one page, make one note” or “make one phone call” or “find one magazine to submit to.” If I’ve done just that and nothing more, I can stop if I want to.
The problem with big projects and long-term goals is that every day you don’t reach your goal is a day tinged with failure. You made progress but you can’t really celebrate yet because there’s so much left to do.
Completing your MVA is an accomplishment, aside from the whole. Of course, the trick is that, even though I have full permission to stop and celebrate after the MVA, I have never actually stopped. Starting breaks the resistance and the in-basket gets emptied, a whole chapter gets edited, appointments get scheduled.
For a while I ran a private Facebook group for people were having trouble focusing on large projects. We all decided our own MVAs, pledged to do one every day for 100 days and check in at least once a week.
It was magic.
I finished the first draft of my novel on the hundredth day. The addition of accountability and connection with others was the magic pixie dust. Once I get past my resistance to starting my next novel, I may revive that group.
Healing Alone May Be Possible, But Sharing the Load Eases the Way
About ten years ago, I learned I carry a genetic mutation that gives me an 87% chance of the deadliest form of breast cancer and a 55% chance of ovarian cancer.
My grandmother died of ovarian cancer and my mother was terminally ill with it as well. In the space of three months, I had a preventive double mastectomy and total hysterectomy – all while helping to care for my mother.
I had been a performing artist and songwriter for many years, but this crisis stopped me dead. I couldn’t imagine how I would ever be the same person again. Instead of my sexy cabaret singer persona, I would be sad mastectomy woman forever. How would I ever get up on a stage and tease an audience?
I couldn’t have been more wrong. I had so many emotions roiling inside and just like always, I turned to creative expression to deal with them. I wrote a song to express to my husband how I was feeling about the loss of my breasts. And then another song to put a fun spin on the indignity of surgery. And then, with the encouragement of a mentor, wrote an entire one-woman show about my experiences with nine original songs.
It just poured out in the space of a few weeks. My first performance of it was at my mother’s bedside in hospice just a few days before she died. After that, I started doing it for other groups – hospice nurses, cancer groups, oncology and genetics conferences. I’ve performed it across the U.S. and twice in England.
It’s called “The Mutant Diaries: Unzipping My Genes” and it’s available on Amazon streaming video. Through it, I was able to connect with so many people in the midst of their own trauma and show them there could be happiness and even laughter on the other side.
Healing alone may be possible, but sharing the load eases the way so much.
Living Through a Difficult Time Drove Me to Write
That show led to so many great opportunities. I started writing a column for HuffingtonPost and went on to write plays, screenplays, short stories, and now, my novel “Pinocchio’s Guide to the End of the World.”
I don’t think I would have done any of it if I hadn’t lived through that difficult time. It’s informed so much of my writing since then, even if not autobiographically.
My play, “First You Jump” follows the stories of five different people facing moments where they must make and life-changing decisions with no way to know in advance if it’s the right decision. Even my Pinocchio novel comes out of that time. Who better to explore how drastic changes to your physical body affect your sense of your own identity? Pinocchio’s transformation from a wooden puppet to a real human may have been wished for, but I wondered if it really turned out the way he expected.
My transformation didn’t turn out the way I expected. Throughout the novel he struggles with Impostor Syndrome – passing as a genuine human but feeling like the same wooden boy inside. Don’t we all struggle to reconcile our internal and external lives?
Today, I Look After My Health Carefully
Aside from that little episode, I’ve been blessed with good health and the support of my family, which eases pursuing an artistic career. Before my surgeries, I ran a graphic design and website development company for 25 years. After, I couldn’t face going back to it. The industry had changed a lot – even in just the few months I’d been recovering – and my heart wasn’t in it anymore.
My children were grown and supporting themselves. With my husband’s support, I shut down the business and devoted myself to writing, music, and performing. I’m grateful every day for the gift of freedom to follow my dreams.
Having been given a second chance, I look after my health carefully. I eat a healthy, plant-rich diet and exercise every day. I am very much aware that not everyone has the same freedom I have and I’m in awe of anyone who manages to write whole books while working a day job and raising young children.
Everyone I know who has truly succeeded in making a career and a living in the performing arts has made enormous sacrifices. They have forgone things like marriage, children, sleep, retirement accounts. I’m sure it’s possible to do both, but I don’t think I could have done it. Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I had chosen that path instead of marriage and children and security. But I have no regrets.
When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I pick up my ukulele and figure how to play a new song. Or I do an MVA. Or I go for a walk. Or call a friend.
Marketing Is As Much Work as Writing the Book
As to book marketing: I’m in the middle of that right mess now with “Pinocchio’s Guide to the End of the World” and it’s as much work as writing a book.
I post on social media, run Amazon ads and Facebook ads, bombard my mailing list, massage my website, try to get booked on podcasts. I just started using A.I. to help create promotional materials. The jury is still out on how well any of it will work as the book has only been out a short while.
The best thing I’ve done is to be part of a wide variety of circles. I have a lot of tribes: music, theater, improv, knitting, baking, hiking, volunteering, local government. They’ve been choices I’ve made for love rather than marketing and those people turned into the biggest fans of my writing. My fingers and toes are crossed that word of mouth will do more than Amazon ads have. And if it doesn’t, I still have my friends.
Treasure your friends.
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Eva Moon is an author, humorist, songwriter, playwright, screenwriter, performer, and former Huffington Post blogger. Her plays and musicals have been staged across the US and UK, and her solo musical show, “The Mutant Diaries: Unzipping My Genes” is streaming on Amazon.
Her screenplay HOUSE ODDS was a Page Awards finalist and was optioned. She has released five music CDs; her music has appeared in feature film soundtracks. “Pinocchio’s Guide to the End of the World” is her first novel.
Eva lives with her husband and two naughty cats in the beautiful Pacific Northwest where she loves to hike and swim in lakes that are far too cold for normal people. For more on Eva and her work, see her website and connect with her on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.
Pinocchio’s Guide to the End of the World: Becoming real was only the start. Pinocchio got his wish, but finds there’s more to being human than having the right kind of body. Inside, he still feels like that same wooden puppet.
In the wake of WWI, his struggle to fit into a human world leads to a deadly fight with a fascist officer and flight from the only home he’s ever known.
From tramp steamers to stifling sweatshops, from love to bitter heartbreak, he can’t outrun his puppet past. Returning home years later, he discovers his beloved papa, Geppetto, was spirited away in the middle of the night into a Germany newly in Hitler’s grip.
On his perilous journey, he finds a motley crew of allies, love, and an unexpected enemy who knows a secret about Pinocchio’s own magical origins that could help her enslave humanity.
Pinocchio’s Guide to the End of the World is a tale of friendship, love, and, ultimately, what it means to be real.
Available on Amazon.