The Good Thing About Having to Prove Yourself Over and Over Again

As a writer, you may find that you have to prove yourself over and over again.

For years.

Probably for your entire career.

This can be discouraging, particularly after you’ve been writing for a while.

I know what I’m doing, you think. I’ve paid my dues. Shouldn’t it get easier at some point?

But then your third novel is rejected by your publisher, and you have to start over in your search. Or the book you thought was a surefire hit is all but ignored on the market. Or your steady writing or coaching clients go belly up and you’re back on the job market, feeling like you’re starting all over again.

These kinds of things happen regularly to writers. And not just new writers. Experienced and veteran writers too.

It seems unfair. After all, other professionals don’t experience the same thing.

An experienced doctor with multiple surgeries under his belt can expect to be well-paid for the rest of his life. An experienced accountant with a successful business will probably ride that success until retirement.

But an experienced writer can end up back at square one in a hurry, having to prove himself or herself all over again.

Why does this happen, and what can you do about it?

When a Writer Must Prove Herself Once More

I’ve had a few personal experiences with this “prove yourself one more time!” phenomenon in my career.

Once in 2008 and again this year (2023). The struggling economy forced a sort of collapse in my freelance writing business. Clients I’d worked with for a decade or more folded or pulled back on assignments. So I had to go out and find new clients.

With every potential opportunity, I had to prove myself over again. Resume updated. Sample projects completed. Interviews conducted. It’s like I’m in my 20s all over again.

Of course, I have a lot more experience now that I can refer to. But the general process feels very similar.

With my traditionally published novels, I’ve gone through the same thing. The company that published my first novel folded within a year of publication. When I finished my second novel, I had to start my search all over again.

I was delighted to sign with my second publisher, but when I returned to them with my third novel, they weren’t interested in the genre anymore.

Again, I had to start over once again with a new publisher.

Each time this happens, it feels like a setback. I keep thinking I should be farther along now. That all this should be easier and more automatic.

Over the years, though, I’ve discovered something: This can be a good thing if you look at it the right way.

The Benefits of Having to Prove Yourself Over and Over Again

No matter to whom you may have to prove yourself once more—employers, clients, publishers, readers, etc.—there are some benefits to doing so.

1. Keeps You Learning and Improving

There’s nothing like having to send your story out to publishers all over again to compel you to step it up.

Because you know that you’re starting over. This publisher (or agent) doesn’t know you or your work. You’re a stranger. So you have to create your best pitch and story possible.

It’s the same if you’re a writing coach or editor wanting to attract new clients. Or maybe you’re a romance writer venturing into the world of science fiction. You have to prove to those clients and readers that you know what you’re doing.

You can no longer rest on your laurels. That means you may have to dig a little deeper to find out what this publisher or client is looking for, and how you (and your story) can meet that need.

This forces you to keep learning and improving yourself, which is great for writers.

We may “think” we’d prefer to sit back and relax and dreamily send out our books now and then, but the truth is that such an approach doesn’t typically lead to self-confidence.

By pushing ourselves, learning more, and becoming more, we are more likely to feel proud of ourselves and experience a healthy sense of self-accomplishment then if we just coast.

“You cannot rely on your past performance for the future,” writes business manager Tareq Muhmood. “You need to adapt to a new style and show how effective you are.”

2. It Keeps You Focused on Relationships

Writers understandably believe the most important thing in their career is their writing.

And that’s true to a great extent. But in today’s publishing market, “relationships” run a close second.

Book sales are driven by relationships—as are freelance writing careers. When we focus on relationships, we naturally gain more marketing opportunities. And we have an easier time gaining referrals for new clients (and editors, and beta readers, and more) when we need them.

When you have to prove yourself again to a new person, what you’re doing is practicing your relationship skills. You’re learning to listen to what that person needs and then use your skills to deliver.

You can apply this premise to your freelance writing business or your book marketing. Whether fishing for clients or readers, you’re seeking to establish new relationships. Having to do it all over again forces you to revisit the process and perhaps try new ways of reaching out and cementing long-term contacts that will benefit you in the future.

3. Compels You to Reinvent Yourself: Who Are You Now?

One of the biggest benefits of having to prove yourself again is that it compels you to take another look at who you are as a writer and who you want to be.

Much of the time we writers have our heads down working on the next project or marketing the one we just released. Freelance writers and editors are completing projects and meeting deadlines. There’s little time to step back and reflect.

When you go through a dry period, though, you suddenly have the time to consider where you are. Your efforts so far have created the results you’re seeing. Are you happy with them? Do you want to continue going in the same direction, or are you looking for a change?

I’m excited to say that this most recent upheaval in my professional writing life has led me to a new realization: I am enjoying teaching and coaching even more than I did before. I’ve already been taking on more music students.

So it made sense when a job came up for a writing coach that I applied. When they selected me after a multi-national search, I felt like the universe was trying to tell me something: it’s time to embrace even more the role of teacher and coach in both my writing and music endeavors.

I had another potential client wanting me to write health articles for them, but after consideration, I backed out of that one. It’s what I have done over the past 20 years, and I still enjoy doing that for some clients, but now I’m looking for a different balance.

And because I was forced to prove myself again, I was able to find it.

Embrace the Act of Proving Yourself Each Time

Small business coach Jim Connelly recommends embracing this idea that you’re only as good as your last book or your last performance, whatever it may be, because it can help you deal with fear.

“The previous performance is history,” he writes. “And knowing that if I get it wrong, I can always perform better next time, I’m free to work without fear. That’s huge. Because it’s exactly that kind of fear that holds people back from doing their best work…When you embrace the idea, that each performance is an opportunity to improve, and that a bad performance can be buried under a great one, you’re free to blow the lid off your potential.”

He goes on to say, “If your last newsletter or article [or book] didn’t generate the results you needed, learn from it and bury it under your next, newly-improved performance. Because that’s the one your readers will remember.”

I’ve learned to accept that I will probably have to prove myself again and again throughout my writing career, which I hope will be a long one. I’d still prefer to rest on my laurels, I’m sure, but if I did that, I probably wouldn’t continue to improve, and that would be boring…and a disservice to myself.

Better for me to kick myself in the butt so I can be better next time around!

Do you find yourself having to prove yourself over and over again as a writer?

_{Featured image by Sergei A via Pexels.}