If you’re struggling with self-doubt and fear, romance writer Stephanie Fowers can help. She’s been there and has discovered some great coping techniques!
by Stephanie Fowers
What are my doubts right now? What are my fears?
These are the questions I ask myself when I feel the self-doubt creeping up on me. Keeping a writing journal really helps with this. When I look back, I can see how I succeeded despite those problems.
Self-Doubt and Fear: Throw Out the Inner Editor
For me, it’s helpful to throw out my inner editor while writing the rough draft (tossing out criticism from self and others, bad reviews haunting you like a song caught on repeat, trying to please the outside world). Instead, I try to get lost in the story.
I don’t think about what people will think about my book while I’m writing the rough draft; I think of how to get lost in the daydream and HOW to tag along with my characters on the adventure. It really is the ultimate game of playing house or Barbie or whatever it was you did back when you were a kid and were really in touch with your imagination.
Ultimate fantasies sell, and because you are human, your fantasy is very similar to other people’s fantasies and therefore will connect with your readers too, so get lost in your story because it will make it better and more compelling in the end.
There Is No Original Story
Afraid you can’t write an original story?
There is no original story. The only thing original is the storyteller. And it’s okay if your story is similar to something else because:
- That means that you will connect to other readers because you’re sharing a human experience and that’s why this story gets told more than once.
- There might already be a market for this story.
- Because you are who you are, the story is still going to be different, new and exciting because of the change in storyteller.
Self-Doubt and Fear: This Book is Awful!
If the stress comes from not thinking, “This book is awful,” try to identify the specific problem.
If it’s a vague feeling and NOT a specific problem, I put it into the category of phantom stress. I remind myself of past successes and how I survived past failures. I remember that I’ve done this before, and I can do it again.
“They say” writers are not supposed to be arrogant. And yes, you should be humble and teachable to always improve. But honestly, I think we need a little arrogance and stubbornness to make it through these rough waters.
This is DIFFERENT than thinking you’re perfect. And great is the fall thereof—we all have something to learn to make our craft better. This is more like having hope, being a positive thinker and thinking the best of readers and yourself.
Self-Doubt and Fear: I’m Bored with My Story
Sometimes if I’m bored with my story, I have to remind myself that my reader won’t have the same experience I’m having.
While writing the book, I have to stop for research and brainstorming and strategizing on how to get the info on the page.
I also have to tell myself that there’s a step for everything and I’m not going to have a draft that is great right off the bat. First there is the stage of the “imperfect draft and getting something down on the page” and THEN there is editing.
I actually make my book into a pdf after I’m done with my rough draft (so I am not temped to stop and edit it at that point), and I read it through to try to get close to the reader’s same experience and figure out if my book has a good flow. I make notes on a separate journal, but very brief notes. Reading your own book like… a REAL book is nice for realizing what is missing too.
You see it all in front of you and things become clear. But once again, practice grace for yourself. You are reading the rough draft, so see the potential, not how terrible it is. Recapture your vision and tighten it.
Phantom Stresses: What Will Others Think?
More on phantom stresses—these happen when you are stressing about something you cannot control, like, “what will others think?”
Do not waste time worrying about controlling others. Just control what is possible for yourself.
This is actually good life advice too!
I’ll use all sorts of distraction techniques to forget phantom stresses until they become something that I can change. And my best technique? Get lost in the story.
Sometimes you have a legit, realistic concern. If it’s a money issue, I’ll calculate how much more I need for that month. Sometimes I’ll find a quick side-hustle—like substitute teaching, dogwalking, content editing, cover designing, or driving for uber eats—to make a quick buck to ease that stress.
Stop While You’re Ahead!
Put down the scissors.
During the editing process, you might be tempted to cut and cut and rewrite and rewrite and make a new book out of the old one, etc., etc. When that happens, I say, “Stop while you’re ahead.”
Hairdressers have to do this too. They will never have the perfect haircut and so there is a time when they just have to put down the scissors or they will shave that cat bald—ha!
What I’m saying? Don’t write a new book with your edits. Finish this one and then write another one after that and after that and after that.
There will never be perfection in writing because there is no perfection. There’s just a story that you wrote and that you like.
Self-Doubt and Fear: Your Readers Will Get Out of Your Book What They Put Into It
Your readers will actually get as much out of your book as they put into it.
It’s a symbiotic relationship—it happens in conversation, while speaking to large groups, in friendships and relationships, etc. Remember that after you’ve done your part in writing your book and you’ve sent it out into the world, people will get as much out of your book as they put into it.
They bring their backgrounds, their experiences, their stories. Their negative or positive feelings might not have anything to do with you or what you’ve done wrong (or right), but on what’s happening in their lives, their interests and desires, their tastes and expectations.
Look at the one-star reviews of your favorite books if you don’t believe me. Why did you love reading that book and yet someone else hated it? Did knowing that people hated their read diminish your enjoyment in the least?
People Will Like—Or Not Like—Your Book
Yes, people will like your book! Yay!
You’ll also have critics. Boo!
Either way, remember this: This book is separate from you. It is not you. It is only your creation. Don’t get caught up on any hype, bad or good. Believe it or not, and excess of either can be destructive to your next project.
You are a creator. You enjoy creating. You’ll create more. You’ll always improve, but not in ways that people might always recognize and it doesn’t matter. You’re enjoying the process. Don’t worry so much about your failures or even sometimes matching your past successes.
Take on the role of the true storyteller and get lost in your next story. And yes, I know you’re trying to make money doing this, but that’s marketing and advertising and THAT is in a different category altogether.
Keep a Writing Journal
I’ve talked about tackling my issues here, but those are mine. We might share some of the same ones, but you might have some troubles that I don’t have. You’ll discover what yours are by keeping a writing journal. Through journaling and freewriting in a process of self-discovery, you’ll also find ways to tackle your own writing issues. The first step is finding out what they are.
Note: Read more of Stephanie’s articles here on Writing and Wellness!
Writing in Solitude: How to Defeat Isolation, Boredom, and Plot Issues
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About Stephanie:
USA Today Bestselling Author Stephanie Fowers loves bringing stories to life, and depending on her latest madcap ideas will do it through written word, song, and/or film. Presently, she lives near the mountains of Salt Lake City and lives the life of a not-so starving artist!
Find more information about Stephanie and her work on her Amazon author page, and connect with her on Goodreads, Bookbub, and Facebook.
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Snowed in at Silver Resort:
She is a shattered dancer battling to walk again. He is a military bad boy fallen from grace. In USA Today Bestselling Author Stephanie Fowers’ heart-pounding romantic suspense, Hope’s weekend getaway at a snow-kissed resort transforms into a stormy whirlwind when Jag, the man responsible for her life-altering accident, unexpectedly comes to her rescue.
Hope can’t believe she’s snowed in with the very person who upended her life—Jag, a man whose stormy eyes turn her fiery resistance on its head. With no way to call for help and no way to run, she has never felt so helpless in the hands of someone who holds the power to open the heart she shut so firmly against the world.
Jag, a military dropout framed for a crime he didn’t commit, escapes prison to clear his name. Against the backdrop of a Christmas card resort, his concern for Hope—who unwittingly becomes his key witness—sparks into a love he has no right to feel. Hoping for redemption, praying for a miracle, he’ll sacrifice everything to keep her safe and away from his selfish arms.
As Hope’s memories of that fateful night resurface, she faces the daunting challenge of trusting Jag to thwart the shadowy forces determined to silence her. Even more so, Jag must confront his own demons and learn to hope in a future where blustering snowy days can actually mean Christmas kisses and snuggling next to a cozy fire.
Available at Amazon.
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Now that the vile revolutionaries have been driven underground after years of waging a devastating civil war against his family, Venice reluctantly emerges from hiding. Despite his father’s insistence that he take up his princely duties as heir, Venice only wants his freedom.
His deranged ex-girlfriend has left him with a bad taste for love…. just another reason why he’s throwing a completely “unprincely” yacht party that will be sure to cause a press frenzy. What he didn’t plan on was the woman of his dreams stowing aboard along with his horrible ex. Now he’s trying everything to get this unforgettable siren out of his mind.
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Before she can throw his easy flirtations back in his face, their vacation takes a shocking nose dive when an accident strands her on a deserted island with the one man she should not be snuggling next to for warmth.
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Available at Amazon.