Hands down, rejection and self-doubt have been my biggest emotional challenges.
Of course, those are intertwined. The more rejections I get, the more self-doubt I experience.
Writing is so full of rejection –after probably 80 queries I finally found an agent, but then the agent queried 25 editors and received rejections from them. Once I at last found a publisher, I faced further rejections from other authors (for blurbs), bookstagrammers, reviewers, awards organizations, and bookstores. I’ve been told “no” by all of them, multiple times.
Writers must be ultra-sensitive in order to observe and record life’s wonder, so of course all of this rejection feels like being stuck with a needle repeatedly in every vein.
Sometimes, as a Writer, I Do Think About Quitting
How do I prevent myself from completely succumbing to imposter syndrome and quitting?
Sometimes I do think about quitting. But then, what would I do with myself? I’m not really that good at much of anything else – terrible cook, for example, faint with fear when I have to make presentations, once tried to throw a sewing machine out the window, and if I had to sell something to make a living I’d starve. At least I’m halfway good at writing.
I can’t NOT write, it seems. So, I say to myself, “Well, I’ll just write this thing, and won’t worry about sending it out.” Once it’s written, though, I say to myself, “Well, I spent all this time writing it, I might as well send it to a few people.” After 79 “no’s,” I do play mind games and say to myself, “Well, it only takes one ‘yes.’ I’ll try one more.”
I read in another interview on this blog that one writer sends out a new query every time she receives a rejection. I do that and think it’s a good policy. Never let yourself be waiting on just one response. Keep a few balls in the air. It’s mentally healthy to be working on another project while you’re waiting to hear on the first one.
Many times, you’ll hear about a writer whose third novel was the first to sell. Then when the agent says, “Do you have anything else?” (as mine did) you can say, “Yes, I do.”
Tips to Help Writers Gain More Peace of Mind
I have been very lucky so far not to suffer from carpal tunnel, arthritis, back pain, or other typical ailments of writers. I do start feeling stiff and headachy if I don’t take breaks every hour or so to walk or do laundry or some gardening. Getting up and moving around eases stiff muscles and also, miraculously, I sometimes figure out the next scene.
I meditate and walk every day, and those are key to my peace of mind. I walk my dog frequently, and come up with ideas for scenes or stories while walking.
During the pandemic I started painting watercolors and it’s incredibly relaxing in that it does take my mind off the writing issues and forces me to focus just on the painting at hand. Golf is like that, too. I have to concentrate so much I must clear my mind of the writing worries, and by the end of the round my perspective is much healthier.
I also have a network of trusted writer friends with whom I share my work and writerly worries. We commiserate about how long we’ve waited to hear from someone, or about how many “no’s” we’ve received for a piece. When one of us says, “I’m giving up on this piece,” the rest of us will say, “No, you can’t, we love that piece, it deserves a home.”
I cannot overstate the importance of finding a trusted supportive network of writing friends. They are my lifeline. Even if I never published a single piece, I am beyond grateful to have these inspiring and creative people in my life.
When I was younger, I didn’t ask my husband to read my work, and didn’t want to burden my daughters with the obligation to read my work, even though my first novels were for young readers. Now, that my husband is retired, he has time to read and comment on everything I write and he is one of my biggest fans. Our daughters have been hugely supportive, too. One daughter has designed book covers for me, and has helped me with my website. The other daughter interviewed me for my book launch.
I love the fact that in this, their talents shine. All of that means so much to me.
Best Book Marketing Tip: If You Enjoy It, Do It
It took me a while to become comfortable with marketing. Initially I had horrible stage fright as a speaker, but a few years of teaching greatly helped me overcome that. It still drains me, as an introvert.
I also really struggled with conference appearances, social media posts, querying bookstagrammers, and other kinds of marketing. It felt icky to be promoting myself, talking about me, me, me.
A few years ago, I was advised by a wise publicity person I had hired, to “do what you enjoy and leave the rest.” She pointed out that if I wasn’t enjoying the speaking, or the Twitter posts, the recipients would know it, anyway, and my efforts would be ineffective. So now I will try something, and if I enjoy it, I will keep at it, but if I don’t, I stop.
I enjoy filling out interview questionnaires like these. I enjoy guest blog posts, occasionally posting on Instagram, and occasional small readings and interviews. Basically, if I can write it, I like it. Conferences can also be exhausting but once you make a few friends, they’re fun. I did one auditorium presentation for 400 students. Never again.
So, try it once. If you enjoy it, keep it in your repertoire. If not, ditch it.
Fitting Writing Into Your Busy Life
I actually don’t have such a busy life now that my husband and I are retired. I feel so fortunate that I can write pretty much whenever I want.
Funny, now that I can do that, sometimes I fritter the time away. When I first started writing my own stories, I was in my late 30’s, and was a freelance video training writer with a toddler and a baby. During those times, I wrote my own fiction usually after the children were in bed or during naps. Sometimes I’d write on the weekends.
I continued to freelance for most of my working years, and also taught college composition, and worked for a small press. For a while I deliberately took on administrative jobs that weren’t too mentally taxing and left me energy to write.
What Writers Should Think About While Writing
I received a Masters in Radio, Television, and Motion Pictures from UNC-Chapel Hill directly after college, and afterward worked for public television for a few years, and then in the video training division of a large accounting firm.
This kind of writing did help me write more realistic dialogue and also helped me discipline myself to always consider the visual aspect of my writing.
As a young writer I thought I could get away with simply recording my own musings, and writing for video quickly taught me that wouldn’t fly. I became better at keeping action moving, too.
It’s not bad to be thinking to yourself as you’re writing, “What is my reader seeing in her mind’s eye?”
What It’s Like Working with Different Types of Publishers
I’ve worked with large publishers, including Random House, and Zondervan. I’ve also worked with smaller publishers like CamCat, Carus, and Blue Crow. I had agents for about half the books I’ve published, and sold the others myself.
There are good and bad things about every mode of publishing. I love working with small presses. The staff is often small, taking special pride in each and every book.
I’ve had very few outright offers for my books. With CamCat I did, and I was over the moon thrilled to get Sue Arroyo’s call! Usually, though, the editor or publisher will ask me for an R&R, (revise and resubmit) before accepting the manuscript. Sometimes the editor will accept my revision and other times she won’t. I would say my R&R’s have succeeded about 50% of the time. Which means that with the other 50%, I did the revision – possibly several months of work — and it did not swing the needle.
I don’t think of myself as being all that talented. I mostly have a willingness to accept constructive criticism, revise, resubmit, and revise again. I am not a person who gives up easily. Maybe I’m just a masochist. Writing is a tough business!
Advice for a Young Writer: Read and Write a Lot!
Read a lot and write a lot. I am thinking about these watercolor lessons I am taking. I’d painted about two hundred paintings over two years or so, taking online tutorials, and finally worked up the courage to sign up for my first in-person watercolor lessons. My teacher looked at my work and said, “Well, you are a beginner.” I am reminded of the 10,000 hours maxim by Malcolm Gladwell.
So, paint a LOT of pictures. Write a LOT of stories. You will learn something from each one.
Be willing to revise. Be thankful for people who are willing to take the time to critique your work; seek them out.
But also surround yourself with people who want to lift you up, not those who would tear you down. Those people are poison to creativity. Avoid them if you possibly can.
Celebrate the successes of others. Meditate your jealousy away. It does not serve anyone.
Keep your day job. Don’t try to be dependent on income from writing, because that works for very few writers. Also, having a day job gives you more to write about.
* * *
Lisa Williams Kline is the author of two novels for adults, Between the Sky and the Sea, and Ladies’ Day, as well as an essay collection entitled The Ruby Mirror and a short story collection entitled Take Me. Her stories and essays have appeared in Literary Mama, Skirt, Sasee, Carolina Woman, moonShine review, The Press 53 Awards Anthology, Sand Hills Literary Magazine, and Idol Talk, among others.
She is also the author of ten novels and a novella for young readers. She lives in Davidson with her veterinarian husband, a cat who can open doors, and a sweet chihuahua who has played Bruiser Woods in Legally Blonde: The Musical. She treasures frequent visits with their grown daughters and their husbands.
For more information on Lisa and her work, please see her website and connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Ladies Day: Heartache is par for the course.