When It’s Important for Writers to Ignore How They Feel

We writers rely on our emotions.

They propel our stories. They help us empathize with our characters. They pave the way to story themes.

Our emotions keep us dreaming big. They provide the rich tapestry from which our creativity emerges. Without emotion, a writer is no more than a wordsmith.

But sometimes, a writer’s emotions get in the way.

Below are five times when writers should ignore their emotions, or at the very least, keep them under wraps. Normally this isn’t a healthy thing to do. Repressed emotions can fester in the body and cause problems like heart disease, overweight, and even cancer.

But there are exceptions to every rule. If you want to reach your writing dreams, know when to suck it up!

1. When it’s time to write and you don’t feel like it.

This one is listed first because it’s the situation that comes up the most often. If I avoided writing every time I didn’t feel like it, I’d have completed only about half as much writing as I have over the years, and I’d be way behind on my writing goals.

I don’t know why we come up against that inner resistance so often when it’s time to face the blank page. It’s probably a combination of fear, self-doubt, and fatigue, which are all some pretty fierce emotions.

Social psychologist Dr. Heidi Grant Halvorson says:

“Somewhere along the way, we’ve all bought into the idea – without consciously realizing it – that to be motivated and effective we need to feel like we want to take action….I really don’t know why we believe this, because it is 100% nonsense. Yes, on some level you need to be committed to what you are doing… But you don’t need to feel like doing it.”

You’ve committed to writing—to completing this story you’re working on. So when the time comes in your schedule to write, ignore how you feel. Grab yourself back the back of the neck and plop yourself in the chair.

2. When it’s time to exercise and you’re tired.

This one is difficult. There are so many days when busy schedules, fatigue, sore muscles, and other problems make you feel like doing anything but exercising. If your only options are the treadmill or the Youtube workout, you may have even more trouble overcoming that resistance.

I had this trouble the day I wrote this post. After a series of long workdays and little rest, I didn’t want to do my workout. I almost succumbed to those feelings, but I knew I would feel badly afterward if I didn’t exercise, so I forced myself to ignore how I felt and go work out.

When it comes to exercise, this is almost always the right choice, unless you’re dealing with an injury, and even then you can usually find an alternative type of exercise to do while allowing the injury to heal.

Why is this on a list for writers? We need daily exercise just like everyone else to stay healthy, but we also need it to keep our brains sharp. We live sedentary lives on the whole, so exercise is critical to keeping our imaginations in tip-top shape, as well as for sustaining the energy we need to be creative.

Too tired? It’s probably because you haven’t been exercising. Ignore the fatigue and go move, even if it’s just to take a walk.

3. When you’re feeling discouraged.

Maybe you just received your fifth rejection on your story, or you got a critique back that overwhelmed you. Someone left a bad review, or your book launch flopped. Maybe you’re just struggling with how to get through the middle of your book.

We all avoid writing when these feelings pop up, but it’s best if you don’t allow it to go on too long. It’s like my parents always told me when I was growing up on a ranch. If you fall off the horse, you need to get right back on. If you don’t, your fears will build up to a level where it becomes much harder down the road.

The same thing is true of writing:

“I didn’t feel like writing this morning,” writes personal coach Aaron Sugarman. “But I pushed through and here we are. Doing so was not only productive, it left me feeling better. Funny how that works.”

When you’re discouraged about your writing, it may seem like writing is the last thing that will help, but it’s often the only thing that does.

4. When it’s time to work on your marketing.

For most writers, marketing doesn’t come easily. It’s difficult to promote ourselves and our work. We often don’t know how to do it, and we’re likely to feel uncomfortable trying. We just don’t “feel like” sending out a newsletter, creating a subscriber freebie, or putting together some guest posts.

Without these and other types of marketing activities, no one will learn about you or your book(s), and your work is likely to languish away in the shadows, leaving you discouraged.

“Reacting to your base feelings is the easiest and most natural reaction,” writes author Lachlan Brown, “like when you have an itch and scratch it right away. But the satisfaction that we get from this automatic reaction is generally shallow and temporary.

“But when we react to situations by thinking about them first and choosing the right decision—rather than the decision that makes you feel good—we end up with less short-term satisfaction, but much more long-term satisfaction.”

I can almost promise you that you will probably never feel like doing anything related to marketing. So try this: schedule one hour per week to work on it. When the time comes, ignore how you feel and just do it. Start with research if you need to, then make some notes, choose a project, and give it a try.

Note: It may also help to take an online course or attend a conference (virtual or in-person) where you can learn more about marketing. The more you know, the less intimidating it will seem, and you’ll be more likely to want to try it. (Check out Writer Get Noticed! for a personalized approach to marketing your work.)

5. When you’re convinced your story is crap.

I haven’t yet written a story that I didn’t think was absolute and utter crap somewhere along the way.

Usually these thoughts get loud around the middle of the story—when the plot gets sticky and I’m not sure I’ll find my way out. It may be the same for you, or maybe you start criticizing your work (and yourself) when you’re closer to the end.

Whenever these feelings erupt, ignore them. Brush them aside and keep writing. If you don’t, you may never finish the story, which works against your progress as a writer in three possible ways:

1. You lose the time you spent on that story, slowing yourself down in terms of the total number of completed works. (Note: prolific writers are often more successful in today’s publishing world.)
2. Your failure to finish robs you of the practice you need in finishing.
3. You may be ignoring a story that could be special if you hung in there.

Don’t judge your work until it’s completed. Then you can go back and edit it however you please.

One More Thing: Your Feelings Aren’t That Important

If you’re having trouble ignoring your feelings, try this: acknowledge that they’re there, but at the same time, understand that they don’t mean that much.

See your feelings at the moment like you might an afternoon rain. They will pass. They’re not that big a deal. They can exist without affecting your behavior.

Decide how you’re going to spend your time and follow through. Don’t let your feelings deter you and you’ll be much more likely to reach your writing goals.

How do you manage feelings that work against your progress as a writer?

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_{Sources
Brown, Lachlan. “Focus on Your Actions and Don’t Let Your Emotions Control You.” Hack Spirit. Last modified August 28, 2019. https://hackspirit.com/trusting-feelings-terrible-advice/.}

_{Grant, Heidi. “How to Make Yourself Work When You Just Don’t Want To.” Dr. Heidi Grant – Social Psychologist – Speaker – Author – Heidi Grant is a Psychologist Who Studies the Science of Motivation and Communication. Last modified July 29, 2015. https://www.heidigrantphd.com/2014/02/how-to-make-yourself-work-when-you-just-dont-want-to.html.}

_{Sugarman, Aaron. “Counter Intuitive Advice of the Day: Ignore Your Feelings.” The WYSIWYG Co. Last modified October 17, 2018. https://wysiwygco.com/counter-intuitive-advice-of-the-day-ignore-your-feelings/.}