When you started out as a writer, you had a strong love of writing.
You loved putting words together, stringing together plotlines, visiting exotic settings, and spending time with your characters.
But then somewhere along the way, something happened. Your love of writing started to subside. The stars disappeared from your eyes. And now you’re filled with self-doubt, worry, and questions about your talent.
Maybe you’re frustrated with your writing, or concerned that you’ll never reach the goals you’ve set for yourself.
If you’ve lost that loving feeling, it could be because of one of the following four obstacles. Fortunately, there are easy solutions that will help you recover the spark.
1. Focusing Too Much on Book Sales and Social Media “Likes” Rather Than Your Love of Writing
It’s easy to get drawn into the numbers game as an author. Between counting how many likes you’re getting on Twitter and Facebook to checking how many books you’re selling per month, you can become obsessed with increasing those numbers until pretty soon almost any result seems disappointing.
Blame it on your neurotransmitters. Every time you sell a book, receive a “like” on your post, or get a good review, your dopamine levels rise, which feels good. This is the neurotransmitter associated with reward and the same one that makes chocolate and opioids difficult to resist.
No wonder, then, that after experiencing the dopamine high you want to experience it again. Unfortunately, the more you get the more you want until nothing feels satisfying.
To clear the path: What you have to do is break the habit of constantly checking and comparing. When it comes to book sales, set specific days of the month to check your numbers. Otherwise, put it out of your mind.
Once you’ve gone a couple of days without checking the desire will wane, particularly if you reward yourself with other things that are more in your control—such as how many pages you wrote today or how many guest posts you pitched.
When it comes to social media, remember that there are always fluctuations. You may get a lot of “likes” on one day and fewer on another day, and it may have nothing to do with the content of your posts. Focus more on delivering consistent quality for your readers and less on how many followers or likes you have on any particular day.
2. Worrying About Being a “Good Enough” Writer Rather Than Your Joy in Writing
It’s easy to compare your progress with someone else’s these days, particularly because of social media. You may be happy when another author gets a publishing contract or award, and feel your confidence plunge at the same time. You haven’t reached these milestones yet, or maybe it’s been a while and you question whether you’re “good enough” to make your writing dreams come true.
As long as you focus on thoughts like these, you’re going to feel powerless. You’re also likely to spend less time writing and devote less energy to your platform-building projects.
To clear the path: The next time you’re feeling “not good enough,” ask yourself why. Are you comparing yourself to someone else? Has your writing progress been discouraging lately? Are you putting too much pressure on yourself?
Once you’ve figured out where that emotion is coming from, remind yourself about how useless it is. Focus instead on “getting better.” Hire an editor or book coach. Take an online workshop. What matters is what you do. In the end, the writers who succeed are the writers who keep trying.
(For more help on overcoming self-doubt, see Overwhelmed Writer Rescue!)
3. Focusing Too Much on Other’s Opinions About Your Writing Rather than Your Love of Writing
Worrying too much about what others think of your writing is a surefire way to diminish your love for it. You become like a thin branch buffeted about by the winds of other opinions.
Of course, you want others to enjoy your work. Whether they do or not has everything to do with whether you succeed on the market.
How can you strike a balance between the two?
To clear a path: Learn to balance your desire for a growing readership with your inner love of writing, putting your inner love of writing first. It may help to think of your writing as you might your children or anyone else who means a lot to you.
You want your children to do well in society and for others to like and admire them, but if they don’t—if your child is unpopular at school or struggles to succeed academically—your love for them still comes first.
If you treat your writing the same way, you’ll continue to nourish your love for it even while working to make it better and to increase your readership.
4. Focusing on How Writing Can Change Your Life
If you’ve ever dreamed of quitting the day job to write, you’ve thought about how writing can change your life. The occasional daydream won’t hurt you, but if you put too much pressure on your writing to make your life better, you’re bound to kill your love for it.
Expecting your writing is going to make your work life easier, make you feel better about yourself, give you the attention you crave, or provide any other similar outcome is expecting too much. It’s like expecting your partner to always make you happy or your dog to always behave perfectly.
When you love writing, it’s easy to let it take over, ruling your identity and your dreams. Being devoted to writing is one thing, but when you demand that it fix the things you don’t like about your life, you’re demanding too much. It will recede, leaving a gap between you.
To clear the path: See writing as your personal pleasure, your escape, your joy, and the craft to which you’re devoted. Most of all, see it as a practice—something you do because you’re committed to it. Then let whatever rewards come as they may without expectation.
Allow writing to be like the butterfly on your daisy—present, beautiful, and ready to bless you with all its gifts, but free of restraint and expectation. That is the way to maintain your love of it—to keep it uncaged.
How do you maintain your love of writing?
It is too easy that get bogged down with stats, social media etc. It’s nice to be reminded of why we do it in the first place.
We love to write! Thanks, Rachel. :O)
I’ve been having 2nd thoughts about continuing my writing. In my writer’s group, my work seems to have more than usual comments about what they feel is not visual enough. I need to tweak the poem or let it go. Maybe my writing must be more for my own therapy to express my feelings. I can’t compare my work to others and so I’ll keep on writing despite my inadequacy. Thanks for this timely article.
I hear you, Kathy. I’ve had those thoughts many times! Writer’s groups can be helpful, but use them with caution. If you find your motivation waning, maybe skip a few meetings to rekindle your love of writing. That needs to come first I think! It also helps to start a new project. Focusing too much on one can be discouraging past a certain point. Good luck.
Hi, Colleen. You definitely nailed four big things that can get between an author and their love for writing. The story ideas and inspirations are what keep me excited and creating. If I manage to write something that someone loves, then it’s a win-win. But, if not, then I still love the process. Great post today!
Thanks, Jan! I can hear your love for writing in your comment. :O)
You really nailed it with this post about the joy-killing habits that make writing a chore (especially #4 for me). Thanks for keeping us in balance. Plus, that dappled gray jumper makes it even better! Nice choice 🙂
Thanks, Lisa! Yes, I’ve been guilty of #4 too (all of them, really), and “balance” is the right word. Ha ha. I knew you would appreciate the picture! :O) Happy writing!