For me, the biggest emotional challenge of being a writer is
allowing myself to be vulnerable.
Fiction writing is an introspective experience. The characters and their journeys exist in a deep, private part of me. Yes, they’re entirely fiction, and yet they feel completely real. I experience their emotions while I’m telling their stories. If I don’t feel it, I certainly can’t expect readers to feel it.
And, so, publishing something I’ve written leaves me uncomfortably vulnerable. I’m effectively handing a piece of myself over for people to judge.
Despite my aversion to vulnerability, this and other emotional challenges of being a writer have never come close to derailing my goals. Perhaps that’s because my goal, first and foremost, is to give life to the stories. I write because I’ve always written. I write because I’m driven by voices and emotions. I write because that’s what I’m meant to do.
Even After Publishing 12 Novels, I Still Experience Anxiety
I’m preparing to publish my twelfth novel. I should be a pro at coping with emotional challenges, right? If only!
I still experience a mixture of euphoria and anxiety each time I send a book out into the world. Coping is multi-faceted, just as it is with just about any emotional challenge.
The most important technique I’ve learned is to separate myself from the drama. I don’t engage in negativity, especially when it offers nothing constructive.
No writer can or will ever please every reader. If the majority are enjoying what I do, then I’m doing it right.
Writers Have to Get Out of Their Heads Sometimes
I’m fortunate to be part of a small network of authors who support one another. With creative endeavors, I think it’s important to connect with people who can relate to your experiences.
As a writer and a total introvert, I live in my head a lot. Sometimes coping means I need to get out of my head. The ocean is one of my favorite places to recharge my emotional batteries.
My husband and I take our dogs to a county park that has a beach, and we all feel better after a slow walk in the wet sand. On my best days, my husband and I take canoe trips (he paddles, I just sit).
Other times coping means popping in my earbuds and getting lost in music. The right song can cause a seismic shift in my mood.
The Challenges of Writing with Lyme Disease
My biggest physical challenge in writing and in life in general is chronic Lyme disease. This disease is complex and difficult to explain.
I have a lot of neurological complications (memory loss, migraines, vision changes, neuropathy, flu-like symptoms, excessive fatigue, etc.), as well as muscle and joint pain. Consequently, I’m always hindered by physical limitations that frustrate me to no end.
The biggest change I’ve had to make in my writing life is that I never sit at a desk. This might sound like no big deal, but it was a difficult adjustment. For one thing, writers like desks! Also, it’s convenient to work at a desk. I had a great desk, with tons of drawers filled with files and paper and pens. I could spread research and/or editing notes out on the surface. And I had two monitors, which was super convenient. Often, I’d use one for research and the other for taking notes on a document. Everything I needed or wanted was always within my reach.
Unfortunately, the muscles in my chest constrict and take my breath away, literally, when I sit at a desk for even short lengths of time. Plus, all my muscles ache more, and I’m prone to intense headaches. I have to sit back, with support all the way from my lower back to my neck, and I need to put my feet up. Consequently, I almost always work on a laptop from my sofa or recliner. Usually I have papers and notes and books spread out all around me, along with three dogs and a cat.
I’ve also had to come to terms with limitations I can’t control. Some days I’m productive; some days I’m not. I’ve learned to accept that I can’t always meet my own expectations, much less those of other people, and so I prioritize.
I tell people I suffer from “chronic behindness,” which is true!
Creativity Can Be Fragile; Creativity is Lost in Chaos
I’d love to share the key to my creativity, but I really don’t know what it is! I’ve always had stories in my head. I was probably in my twenties before I realized not everyone walked around with a bunch of characters vying for attention.
I’m most creative when I feel energized, but I don’t mean that from a physical standpoint. It’s the feeling I have when I latch on to an idea that demands further exploration, or an emotion engulfs me and spills out onto the page (or laptop screen). I’m most creative when I feel excited about a concept or a story’s direction.
Creativity can be fragile. For me, creativity is lost in chaos. This can occur in the physical sense of being swallowed up within too much activity and noise, or the emotional chaos that comes with personal or family problems. When I feel this kind of sensory overload taking over, I need to step back and find my center.
It’s So Hard to Rest and Give Your Body Time to Heal
My darkest moments have been a few, and they’re always due to health complications. Sometimes the Lyme disease gets out of control, putting my health in a precarious position, which then makes it nearly impossible for me to do much of anything creative.
Getting past it mostly requires me to be patient, which absolutely does not come naturally to me. It requires me to rest and give my mind and body time to heal.
The biggest struggle during this downtime is keeping a positive attitude amidst my frustration. I’ve had times when I wanted to give up and toss all this writing stuff aside, telling myself I don’t need the added pressure in my life. But, ultimately, I come back to a place where I realize writing is a release, not an added pressure, and so I find my fingers back on the keyboard and my mind drifting into someone else’s journey.
The Feeling is Indescribable When a Reader Connects to Your Story
My biggest triumph as a writer is and always will be hearing that something I wrote elicited an emotional reaction in a reader.
When someone tells me that my book made him/her laugh or cry, or that he/she connected in a surprising way to a character or a story, that gives me an indescribable feeling I will forever cherish.
There truly is no better triumph for me as a writer.
Without Writing, All the Voices in My Head Would Drive Me Crazy
The one thing that has kept me true to my path is that I have to write. I mean, truly, I have to, or I think all the voices in my head would make me crazy.
Writing is both a form of release and a way to connect. Many years ago, I read somewhere that the thing you are meant to do in life is the thing that you lose all sense of time while doing. For me, that’s writing.
I’m lost in the fictional world that doesn’t feel fictional to me at all. I feel those other emotions. I am with those people and I am those people. The clock and the real world move along without me, and it all just feels right when I emerge.
Advice for a Young Writer: Expect to Work At It
Some would-be writers come into this field expecting little work with a lot of payoff. If that’s you, turn around and find another way to pay your bills.
If writing is your passion and something you truly want to do with your life, expect to work at it. Join a writers’ group and/or network with other authors. Accept constructive criticism, but also stay true to your own voice.
Beyond the actual writing part, you’ll likely find yourself mired in less creative but equally necessary activities. Honestly, if you’re meant to do this, writing is the easy part. The hard part comes afterward, when you need to find the right editor for your work. You need a graphic designer for book covers and promo images. You need to maintain a website. You need to find time for social media. And don’t even get me started on the whole marketing thing!
Marketing does not come naturally to many (most?) authors. Business is all hard angles and strategy; writing is all soft curves and creativity. Most young writers immerse themselves in language and books; few even consider the business angle.
I guess my best advice would be to study the thing that doesn’t come naturally. Learn marketing techniques long before you need them. Follow successful authors, particularly in the independent publishing world, and find out what’s working for them. If you just want to write, then write. If you want to be a successful author, approach it like a business.
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Darcia Helle lives with her husband in a home ruled by spoiled rescue animals. Suspense, random blood spatter, and mismatched socks consume Darcia’s days. She writes because the characters trespassing through her mind leave her no alternative. Only then are the voices free to haunt someone else.
Learn more about Darcia and her writing at her website and blog, or connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Out of the Darkness: Gus wakes up in a dark void with no memory and no body. Screaming and cursing does him no good. He’s trapped, until he learns about one man who can help.
Joe Cavelli is a PI who hears ghosts, solves their murders, and sometimes fixes their personal problems. Now he finds himself pestered by an invisible, impatient, and brash amnesiac.
Solving cases for ghosts comes with a unique set of circumstances. This time, Joe can’t even claim to be investigating a murder, since Gus’s body is nowhere to be found. Together, Joe and Gus delve into Gus’s past, uncovering clues that lead to a startling conclusion.
$0.99 Kindle pre-order discount until release date of February 12, 2019. Available at Amazon, Amazon UK, and Amazon CA.
Into the Light: Max Paddington refuses to go into the light until he finds his killer. This presents a dilemma, since Max is even less competent as a spirit than he was as a live person. No one sees or hears him and he can’t manage to get anywhere or do anything on his own.
Joe Cavelli is a private investigator, living an ordinary life. Then one day he walks across a parking lot, gets yelled at by a ghost, and his life only gets stranger from there.
Max and Joe team up to find Max’s killer. In the process, they form an unlikely friendship and change each other’s lives in ways they never expected.
Available at Amazon, Amazon UK, and Amazon CA.
No Justice: Driven by grief, Michael Sykora started his life of killing in a blind rage. But then it became something he was good at. Even something he…liked.
To most who know him, Michael is a software designer, a smart—but average—workaholic. To a chosen few, Michael is something else: a part-time hit man whose specialty is eliminating hard-core criminals.
When Nicki, a close friend, finds herself in trouble, Michael steps in. Having lost his fiancée to a brutal crime, Michael will do anything to keep from losing another woman in his life.
Michael Sykora has managed to keep his two personas separate. Until now.
Free ebook download. Available at Amazon, Amazon UK and Amazon CA.
Twelve novels! That’s amazing. I’m happy that you get to walk on the beach, a spiritual place. Hubs and dogs make it even better. 🙂
The beach does have a spiritual feel! Something about the salt air and that vast body of water puts everything right again. 🙂
Thank you so much for this feature!
Thank you, Darcia! Lovely to have you on Writing and Wellness. :O)