Rejections, Tragedy, Caregiving—What Resilience Means to this Writer

by Linda L. Osmundson

As a writer, I bloomed late in life.

One of my sons said I was coming into my own when my husband Bob’s health knocked us both for a loop and my writing went on hold. His dementia diagnosis—not Alzheimer’s, but another dementia known as Progressive Supranuclear Palsy (PSP—took over our lives.

If you look it up, you discover it is a rare and one of the more dreaded forms of dementia. Symptoms include a decline of muscle control, loss of balance and cognition, and a tendency to choke.

Care of my husband took precedence over my personal dreams, activities, writing, marketing and promoting.

Can a Naive Dreamer Write Children’s Books?

I always wanted to write; however life got in the way—college, teaching, marriage, children, volunteering and moving to five states in fifteen years as Bob’s employer transferred him around the West.

As a stay-at-home mom, I searched for challenges that would contribute to my feelings of self-worth. I volunteered for church, art museums, women’s organizations, home owners’ associations (HOAs), and schools. I wrote rhyming party invitations, HOA newsletters, and Christmas letters.

My writing background consisted of an attempt to write a Colorado history picture book for my young sons while my husband chaired the Denver Centennial/Bicentennial committee. Don’t laugh. I was a novice like—just like so many who contact me today wanting my suggestions for writing a children’s book in order to make quick money!

Money was not my goal. A former elementary teacher, I wanted to write for children. How naïve and what a dreamer, I realize now!

My Writing Really Got Career Started at the Age of 50

Once our nest emptied and before each son returned for a short while, I pursued my dream. At the age of 50, I enrolled in a “writing for children” correspondence course. After graduation, I submitted articles and, of course, received enough rejections to paper my office wall.

I didn’t give up. Workshops, conferences, more classes and critique groups offered the knowledge I needed.

Bob retired and we returned “home” to Colorado. I stumbled upon the perfect critique group who helped me publish my first real article for a teacher magazine. At last my articles started appearing in anthologies like Chicken Soup; in newspapers; and in religion, children, teachers, seniors, and travel magazines.

Most of those targeted adult audiences, though. I wanted to write for children.

I gave up the pursuit of writing children’s fiction to write what I knew. I served as a docent in four art museums and two galleries, gave hundreds of tours, and taught docents and classroom volunteers how to induce children to interact with art.

Those experiences soon turned into my “looking at art” picture books.

When I Held My First Book in My Hands, My Life Changed

To create my first art picture book, I chose a favorite western artist: Charles Russell. I narrowed it down to thirteen of his images and adapted the format from my tours for How the West Was Drawn: Charles Russell’s Art.

Questions encouraged readers to look at his pictures followed by 250 words about the artist and/or the image. Pelican Publishing purchased the manuscript and my first book was released in 2011.

When I received the five boxes I’d ordered after the release, I was 72. I opened a box, withdrew a copy, saw my name on the cover and cried.

Book publication set me on a new path—school visits, speaking events, and book signings. Sometimes my husband accompanied me, but most of the time I managed on my own.

Not to say I was really busy or made a lot of money. My books fit a niche audience. Still, my life changed.

I Became a Caregiver, and My Writing Took a Back Seat

Then, Bob had three auto accidents (with no injuries), his license was revoked, he received the diagnosis of dementia and I became a caregiver.

At first, I could leave him alone for a few hours. As the disease progressed, I feared the consequences of leaving him. Not only could he fall down the basement stairs he continued to navigate against my warnings, he tended to drink.

After a couple of years, I no longer left him alone, gave up all my activities and hired help for a few hours three days a week to relieve me from 24/7 care.

Book promotion screeched to a halt; finances, household upkeep and caregiving filled my time. The only activity I kept was the critique group meetings. Rather than give up the group, they suggested they meet at my house, so I continued to take part. That worked for a while.

One night as the group met, I heard my husband rummaging in my office. He was searching for our checkbook to give a phone caller our bank account number! I already knew I couldn’t let him answer the phone because he’d buy anything they peddled.

I conveniently “lost” his credit card. I hired someone to come every Wednesday night; the group and I returned to the leader’s house. I didn’t write or contribute much but they were my friends and insisted on my attendance.

A Writer Admits She Needs Help with Caregiving

A few years of caregiving led to sleep deprivation. PSP affects balance. Bob got up often during the night. I feared for his safety and couldn’t sleep. We called 911 several times when he fell because I either couldn’t get him up or he hit his head.

My youngest son suggested we look at care facilities. “Mom,” he said, “you’ve aged ten years in one. You need to get help for Dad and for you.” We took Bob for one of the visits.

After a particularly bad night, I told Bob, “If I don’t get more sleep, I’m going to get sick and then who will care for you?”

“I’ll live at that place we visited.” He couldn’t remember the name. He wanted to move immediately and pointed to all the items he’d take with him—pictures from the wall, recliner, bed, nightstand, loveseat, etc.

The facility had no openings when we first visited. However, by the time of his evaluation, one opened up—the best unit in the memory care section. Guilt consumed me. His choice to move and the availability of space left me feeling God heard my prayers and granted me permission to place Bob in care.

I visited every day. Over the past year, his disease deteriorated to the point he now resides in a wheelchair permanently, finds speaking difficult, makes little sense when he does speak and needs help dressing and transferring. He chokes often.

I cry a lot.

The best medicine came in the form of a support group. At the group I can say things I’d never say to the normal person.

I watched a documentary on caregiving. A man made a statement I’ve wanted to say: If you haven’t walked in my shoes, don’t tell me what to do. I also enlisted palliative care, mostly for me not my husband, although they serve both of us.

I Found Relief in Writing

One day, I found relief in writing.

I sat down and spewed on paper, through the eyes of a grandchild, twelve incidents which illustrate dementia’s decline. I called it a picture book and read it to my critique group. Everyone cried.

I submitted it to publishers. I also read it to my dementia support group. They thought I nailed it.

Rejections poured in. At a writer’s conference in May, 2017, I pitched the manuscript to an agent. He read a few lines and this big former Michigan football player said, “I’m crying.” He offered me a contract on the spot.

Later, he admitted he hadn’t read the whole piece until he was alone. The manuscript reminded him of his experience with his grandparents. His determination to place the book with a publisher, as well as three other manuscripts, encourages me.

I’m returning to promotion, marketing, book events, and speaking. I go out to lunch with friends, rejoined my crafts group, attend the support group, write and try to keep busy. I visit Bob most days.

Dementia’s progression/decline can’t be predicted; the decline is hard watch. I take one day at a time.

As experts advise, I’m making time for me.

* * *

Linda Osmundson is the author of hundreds of non-fiction articles for children and adults. She authored three books in the How the West Was Drawn series (award-winning Cowboy Charlie’s Art, Frederic Remington’s Art and award-winning Women’s Art) for ages 7-107. She lives in beautiful Fort Collins, Colorado, with a view of the Rocky Mountains and Long’s Peak from her deck.

Learn more about Linda Osmundson on her website or on her How the West was Drawn Facebook page. Connect with her on Twitter.

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How the West was Drawn: Women’s Art: Celebrating the contributions of women to the art of the American West!

Women have long captured the spirit of America’s dynamic West in their artwork. From Georgia O’Keeffe’s stunning works to Alice Cleaver’s haunting oil paintings, from Jessie Benton Evans’s Arizona landscapes to Sally James Farnham’s bronzes, this collection represents an important testament to women’s art featuring the rugged spirit of the West.

Stimulating questions and fascinating biographical details will encourage conversation and understanding about each artist’s work.

Available at Amazon.

How the West was Drawn: Cowboy Charlie’s Art: When researchers want to know how the American West of the late 1800s to early 1900s looked, they study the art of Charles Marion Russell, known by some as Cowboy Charlie. Reading this interactive self-guided tour of thirteen Russell art works is like following one of my art museum tours.

Children can discover on-their-own or enjoy with a classroom or parent.

Questions encourage readers to examine the art works and notice what casual viewers often miss. Readers will find a hidden creature, discover Cowboy Charlie’s unique clothes style and read a painting like a comic strip. Further examination of his art teaches all that Charlie loved and lived – from trapper camps to roundups and Indian tipis to buffalo hunts. Readers discover which paintings hung in saloons and which copies appeared in newspaper and magazines.

Best of all, readers take away tools which help them delve deeper into other art works they encounter in the future.

Available at Amazon.

How the West was Drawn: Frederic Remington’s Art: How this artist brought the West to life.

Filled with paintings and sculptures by Western artist Frederic Remington, this young readers’ guide to art appreciation is complete with background information about the artist and historical facts.

Readers will learn all about Remington’s techniques. Some of his lessons include what he did to make action look real in his sculptures and how he focused viewers’ attention in a painting. The author provides specific questions for each piece, followed by illuminating answers which provide a basis for studying art in general.

Available at Amazon.