Whatever your experience as a writer, there are certain things you learn along the way.
Perhaps the most famous lesson is to “develop a thick skin.” We’re told early on that we need to embrace criticism so we can learn to be better writers, no matter how difficult it is to hear what’s “wrong” with our stories.
So we learn to smile, say “thank you,” and go home and nurse our wounds alone.
And thus begins the separation between the public and private personae of a writer. Which is probably a good thing in most cases. No one wants to hear us go on about all our difficulties (oh, the angst! the pain!), so it’s probably best that we put on a brave face most of the time.
When in the company of other writers, though, it can be helpful to let down our guard a bit and share the feelings we tend to bury deep inside.
In the spirit of allowing ourselves a little breathing room, here are five things writers often say, followed by what they’re probably really thinking at the time.
I write simply because I love it!
(I expect no money, recognition, readers, etc., and would still write if I were awash and alone on a desert island.)
What Writers Really Think
I thought for sure I’d have made some serious money by now, but NO, I slave away day after day and I sell maybe one book here, one book there, and it’s so discouraging! Who works this hard for this pittance of paltry compensation? Why do I put myself through this?
Of Note:
According to survey results from the Author’s Guild, the median pay for full-time writers in 2017 was $20,300. That number decreased to $6,080 when part-time writers were considered—which reflects a 42 percent drop since 2009 when the median was $10,500.
Quote from Journalist Doug Preston:
“I say this: The grim economic reality of the writing marketplace and the inability of many writers to make a decent wage are a far greater threat to freedom of expression than active censorship by political and religious groups. And the censorship of the marketplace is only getting worse.”
The Truth: Writers who stick with it do write for the love of it. There’s really no other reason to do it.
Another rejection? No problem. I’ll just send it back out.
What Writers Really Think
Are you kidding? What kind of idiots are they over there at that publisher (or agent firm)? Can’t they recognize genius when they see it?
And a few hours later…
This story is crap. It’s all crap. No wonder they rejected it. I should just throw it away and forget the whole thing. I could go back to being a call center professional.
Of Note:
Still Alice, a book by Lisa Genova that was later turned into a movie starring Julianne Moore, received about 100 rejections (or non-replies) from agents. After a long and disappointing query process, Genova opted to self-publish her book. Gallery Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, later acquired and re-issued it. The book spent 40 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list. In 2015, Julianne Moore won an Academy Award for portraying the eponymous Alice.
Quote from Chuck Wendig of Terrible Minds:
“Rejection refines us. Those who fall prey to its enervating soul-sucking tentacles are doomed. Those who persist past it are survivors. Best ask yourself the question: what kind of writer are you? The kind who survives? Or the kind who gets asphyxiated by the tentacles of woe?”
My book? It’s going great, thank you!
What Writers Really Think
This story is killing me. I don’t know what the heck to do with it. I got like halfway through and now I’m stuck. It’s boring, I know it’s boring, and my antagonist is not fully formed, I can tell that. I was thinking I’d just abandon this story and start over…that would be better than facing this thing over and over again and banging my head against a wall.
Of Note:
If you’re stuck in the middle of the story, consider James Scott Bell’s Write Your Novel from the Middle, available at Amazon.
About the book: But what if it’s not the beginning or the end that is the key to a successful book? What if, amazing as it may seem, the place to begin writing your novel is in the very middle of the story?
According to #1 bestselling writing teacher James Scott Bell, that’s exactly where you’ll find your story’s heart and heat. Bell’s “Mirror Moment” is the secret, and its power is available to any writer, at any stage of the writing process.
Quote from author Felicia C. Sullivan:
“I’ve published two books, and while the beginnings and endings of each were clear to me, writing the middle felt like I’d booked passage to a country where the language and customs were foreign to me — a journey from which I wasn’t sure I’d return. Writing the middle was so paralyzing that I wrote both of my books — a memoir published in 2008 and a novel nearly a decade after — out of order. Novel writing became an assemblage of puzzle pieces; I’d spent years arranging and rearranging chapters to see where things fit.”
No problem. I appreciate honest feedback.
What Writers Really Think
Yeah, you don’t know what you’re talking about. How many thrillers (romances, sci-fi, cross-genre, etc) have you read anyway? You don’t know good writing when you read it. It’s probably your personal issues that are behind your comments. You should learn to separate them from your writing critiques.
A few hours later…
Oh my god, she was right! My hero does sound just like my antagonist? Geesh, how embarrassing. How could I have missed that? This story is crap.
Of note:
According to psychologist Leon F. Seltzer, criticism is difficult for many reasons, including:
- Negative judgments we receive as adults can automatically remind us of the inadequacies we felt when criticized as children.
- Most of us experienced a painful withdrawal of love, validation, and support whenever we were criticized as children.
- Being criticized is linked to earlier experiences of anxiety, frustration, and failure.
To better handle criticism, try these tips:
- Remember the criticism is not about you—it’s about the story, which even if it feels like an extension of you, is not you.
- Mistakes aren’t bad—critiques give you what you need to improve.
- It’s up to you what you do with the critiques—it’s your story no matter what.
Quote from author Marcy McKay:
“Every writer knows how each word comes from deep inside you, whether it’s fiction or nonfiction. You share the essence of you – your thoughts, feelings, knowledge or imagination bleeds onto the page. You soak in praise from others, so it’s hard not to do the same with disapproval – to absorb the pain like a poison…. You have to measure the comments against your instincts. Only you know the true vision for your work. The secret is to not let criticism destroy your self-confidence so much that you give up on your dream altogether.”
I’m learning to love marketing.
What Writers Really Think
I hate, hate, hate marketing my work. I’m no good at it! Why can’t I just write? I mean, the kind of person who’s good at writing is not the same kind of person who’s good at marketing and sales. That should be obvious. How can they expect us to do both?
And who has time anyway? It’s hard enough finding an hour in the day to write. Where on earth am I to find more hours for platform building and networking?
Of Note:
It is possible to learn to enjoy building your author platform!
If I may be so bold as to suggest my book: Writer Get Noticed!
The Reader’s Favorite Gold Medal winner in this year’s book awards, it will help you find your own best way to market your work.
Quote from K. M. Weiland of “Helping Writers Become Authors”:
“You’re not trying to cram your book down an unwilling reader’s throat. You’re not jumping up and down in the crowd and shouting, ‘Lookatme, lookatme!’ What you’re trying to do is contribute something of value to the world. You’re a writer. You’re an artist. You’re one of those lucky people who gets to mainline themselves as their contribution to the world. Your authentic self is the most important thing you bring. So bring it.”
What do you really think when it comes to writing?
Sources:
De León, C. (2019, January 7). Does It Pay to Be a Writer? Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/05/books/authors-pay-writer.html
McKay, M. (2014, December 16). Surviving Criticism without Losing Confidence in Your Writing. Retrieved from http://positivewriter.com/criticism-writing/
Preston, D. (2018, June 18). Why Is It So Goddamned Hard to Make a Living as a Writer Today? Retrieved from https://www.authorsguild.org/the-writing-life/why-is-it-so-goddamned-hard-to-make-a-living-as-a-writer-today/
Seltzer, L. F. (2009, January 30). 403 Forbidden. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/200901/why-criticism-is-so-hard-take-part-1
Sullivan, F. C. (2019, April 28). How to Write Your Way Through the Middle. Retrieved from https://medium.com/s/an-outsiders-guide-to-publishing/how-to-write-your-way-through-the-middle-39908b80ba0
Temple, E. (2019, April 5). The Most-Rejected Books of All Time. Retrieved from https://lithub.com/the-most-rejected-books-of-all-time/
Weiland, K. M. (2018, August 13). How to Market Your Book-When You Hate Marketing. Retrieved from https://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/how-soon-is-too-soon-to-think-about-marketing-your-book/
Wendig, C. (2011, December 11). 25 Things Writers Should Know About Rejection. Retrieved from http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2011/12/13/25-things-writers-should-know-about-rejection/
Ahahahaha!!! LOVED this!! 😀
Ha ha. Thanks, Maryanne! We have to be honest at some point right? :O)